It's Time To Strip Masculinity From Our Relationships

How many marriages do you know where the woman 'wears the trousers'? How many matriarchs do you know who rule benignly over the entire family? I believe that this is not enough and I, and many of my female friends, are now embarking on a more formal form of leadership in our marriages and relationships with our menfolk; the Female Led Relationship.

This is as it says on the tin, the female is in charge, the boss. But there's more. The role of the male becomes that of homekeeper and submissive. He effectively hands the power to the woman under the agreement between them.

This is fine and a great start but for me, it still doesn't go far enough. The man still has tendencies to revert to type, be it aggression, talking over you, 'mansplaining', taking less care of himself, whatever. So for me, feminising your husband or partner is a vital step to ensure you have a fully-functioning FLR.

I don't mean giving him hormones and making him have surgery. He keeps all his bits and operates sexually like any man. However, in all other ways you give him the characteristics of a woman, including expecting him to wear female clothing. This is usually referred to as forced feminisation or petticoating, although the adjective forced is, in reality, a misnomer and I prefer to use 'encouraged'.

It's unrealistic to expect him to go outside the home dressed as a woman. My own feminised husband, although slim, is broad-shouldered and six feet tall. This would undoubtedly cause problems in a wider world which is not yet ready. I do, however, expect him, as do my friends in FLRs, to wear female underwear and to undergo a female beauty regime which includes bodily hair removal, eyebrow shaping and nail manicures. At home he only wears female clothing. I have given him a female name, Alice, and I will only ever refer to him as a girl in our conversations.

This feminisation of 'Alice' changes the dynamic of the relationship considerably. Where he may have felt the need to challenge my agreed authority, his feminisation process has made him almost fully submissive and accepting of his status in the relationship. I am using male pronouns in this article but I use female pronouns in everyday life. I also need to add that we have a loving relationship and there is no aggression or argument. I would contend that ours is far superior in the way that we care for each other than many other traditional relationships where the authority is often contested.

I do have to state that my husband's feminisation was my idea and I have had, at times, to use encouragement to push things along. The big challenge in my own FLR was not only getting my husband to wear female clothing or even to accept being called Alice, or girl, but to get her to accept that it's a real change in her whole way of living, moving from masculinity to femininity. This has to be a psychological change, too.

To be honest, we're not there yet, but even being some way down the road to removing her masculine traits is a vast improvement on her past behaviours. He will never truly be a real woman, of course, but in terms of femininity, he's a long way down the road.

Much of forced feminisation and petticoating can be fetish and also focuses on the outward appearances of your partner. For me, this isn't enough to get to a true FLR. It's a great start, though, and a real pleasure to see. The real need is to get into a male's head that his masculinity has fallen away. Re-enforcement of the message and constant reminders that he's feminine are important. It is an overhead for me, but one that's worth the trouble for both of you in the end. Incremental gains can be difficult to spot until every so often, you notice that he's started doing something naturally that you've been working on for ages. It's so satisfying. Ensuring he follows female habits, rituals and routines all help in this process.

As a woman you do need to be focused on the feminisation process you're working on and to be on your guard, spotting any problems or forgetfulness.

For a successful, loving FLR, persuading your male partner to wear female clothing is only half the story. What you really need to do is change his thinking to achieve the desired result. A submissive, feminised husband should be his destiny and the goal of many more woman.

Alexa Martinez is an author and a blogger from London and writes on the subject of Female Led Relationships and the feminisation of males for a positive change and improvement.

Alexa writes under the pen name of Lady Alexa and you can find her blog at www.ladyalexauk.com and her novels on Amazon and Kobo by searching for Lady Alexa.