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Is Your Pussy Broken?

Issa Rae's "Broken Pussy" illustrates what's wrong with female sexuality.

By Tyomi MorganPublished 7 years ago 7 min read
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"Maybe it really smells. Maybe it's dry as hell. Broken pussy." Rapping enthusiastically over Kalis's "Im bossy" instrumental during an open mic night in LA, Issa Rae paints a picture of what her best friend referred to as "broken pussy" in an episode of HBO's Emmy nominated series "Insecure". When I saw this episode I couldn't help but laugh out loud because Issa wittingly described two common issues women face concerning their vaginal health.

I can't even begin to count how many letters I've gotten over the last six years from women around the world who have literally asked me if their pussies are broken because they do not have an orgasm (a common issue for women). Even though Issa was making light of her friend's casual comments about her pussy, the scene entirely touched on a subject that is less than often spotlighted when we speak about female sexuality; female sexual dysfunction.

For too long female sexual dysfunction has remained unspoken about within relationships and has gone without diagnoses leaving many women to feel isolated within and frustrated with their sex lives. "Maybe I'm one of those women who don't have a normal vagina," think many women who have experienced the woes of FSD. And it's a shame that this is even a thought. So many women are led to believe that they are not meant to experience sexual pleasure because they have never received what they desire from sex, or their vaginas physically don't seem to function correctly.

Some women don't become aroused by the sexual triggers that have been depicted in mainstream as the norm. Some women don't feel their vaginas are moist enough. Some experience pain during sex or they simply don't feel sensations enough to reach an orgasm. Some women have never experienced an orgasm a day in their lives. Whatever the reason may be that is causing a woman to feel as if her pussy is broken, this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. So serious, in fact, that over 40% of women are impacted by female sexual dysfunction at some point in their lives, and many of them go without speaking about it, according to a recent Harris Poll study conducted in association with American Sexual Health Association (AHSA) on the matter.

Female sexual dysfunction is a serious issue that is impacting the lives of couples worldwide causing many of these relationships to experience strain due to an absence of sexual activity. Sex is only about 10% of a couple's relationship but he can weigh like 90% when they aren't being satisfied sexually.

Female sexual dysfunction is defined as "persistent, recurrent problems with sexual response, desire, orgasm or pain that distresses or strains your relationship with your partner." FDS can happen to any woman at any age and can be a life long experience or something that is acquired over time. It's safe to say that many women are bearing the brunt of FSD at this point, but what can be done to rectify a situation where a woman knows she is experiencing abnormalities within her sexuality? The answers are rooted in knowing what type of FSD is being experienced and her ability to seek out help for a remedy. If you feel that your sex life measures up to any of the symptoms described, it may be time for your to seek out some assistance sister.

Sexual pain disorder (Dyspareunia)

"It hurts when he puts it in no matter what sex position he places me in." Painful Sex is all too common in the life of women across the globe, and this issue can be attributed to age, lack of arousal, vagina dryness, thinning of vaginal tissues, psychological hang ups caused by traumatic experiences, uterine fibroids, low estrogen levels, genital mismatch (he's too big), wrong positioning during sex, ovarian cysts and several other health issues concerning the uterus/vagina. If painful Sex is a common issue, this is a reason to seek out professional opinion from a gynecologist. The cause of painful sex must be determined in order to provide a remedy.

Arousal problems

No matter how much effort is used to turn her on, it seems like there isn't anything that can be done for her body to become aroused and prepared for sex. Her vagina feels dry, her body is non responsive to touch, her mind is else where and her clit feels as if it is numb. These are common symptoms of a woman who is dealing with arousal issues and this form of female sexual dysfunction is common. Psychological issues such as depression, stress, anxiety and low self esteem can contribute to the cause of arousal problems as well as relationship issues. Location of setting where sex happens can place a strain on a woman's ability to become arouses as well. Sometimes the wrong type of stimulation is being used and this can create strain in a woman's ability to be turned on. There are several factors that can impact a woman's sexual response cycle simultaneously, so it is wise for any woman who feels she is dealing with this issue to seek out professional assistance from a gynecologist or sex therapist (or both).

Orgasm problems (anorgasmia)

"I have never had an orgasm in my life" is a phrase I read too often in letters that flood my inbox weekly. Issue with reaching orgasm is extremely common among women, and it isn't just a middle-aged woman's problem. In fact, there are just as many women in their 20's who complain about not being able to orgasm regularly during sex or even at all. There are several physiological and psychological changes that can suppress a woman's ability to orgasm including depression, medications, self-esteem issues, poor body image, religious upbringing, gynecological issues, aging and even embarrassment. Problems within the relationship such as poor communication, infidelity, lack of trust or intimacy issues can further suppress a woman's orgasm. In order for a woman to experience her orgasmic potential, she must first unload everything that causing her repression and then seek out the physiological, psychological and environmental factors that will help her body respond positively in reaching an orgasm. This decompressing process is best accomplished with the assistance of a physician and/or sex therapist or sexuality coach because many women are unaware of exactly what is holding them back from an orgasmic experience.

Low Sexual Desire (Hyposexual Desire Disorder)

"I'm just not in the mood and I can't seem to understand why," is the sentiment harbored by women who are currently experiencing low or no sexual desire or Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). HSDD is the most common form of female sexual dysfunction impacting around 4 million women in the US alone. Hypoactive sexual desire disorder is characterized by "low sexual desire that causes distress and isn't triggered by medical conditions or drugs." This condition is thought to be caused by an imbalance of serotonin, dopemine and norepinephrine in the brain, which are all chemicals associated with sexual desire response in women. Yes, it is possible for women not to have the desire to get it on and this is a recognized medical condition. If you are a woman that feels you just don't have the desire to have sex and you can't seem to understand why, then you may be one of the 4 million treading through life with HSDD. It's time to see a doctor sis.

Issa Rae made the world laugh and also created a catch phrase for dysfunctional vaginas, but the case of the broken pussy isn't a laughing matter. The mitigating fact about anything that is broken is that there is the capacity for that thing to be repaired. If you're suffering through these issues in silence and you know you need help, what is it going to take for you to first admit to your partner that you have an issue? The first step towards change is admitting there is a problem. Are you going to wait until your relationship is on the brink of break up before you speak up about what's really going on? Or are you going to make the decision to seek out help not just for your own health but for the health of your relationship?

It is the birthright of every human being to have enjoyable sex that balances out your energy and connects you with the divine within yourself and your partner. Don't suffer through female sexual dysfunction another moment of your life. Your pussy isn't broken...it just needs some TLC in a way that you've never imagined. It's time for you to seek out professional help sis. Don't wait another moment to reach out to your gynecologist and a sex therapist or coach to jump start your healing.

advicerelationshipssexual wellnesstabooadvocacy
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About the Creator

Tyomi Morgan

I am an international sexpert who uses social media and my own blog sites to promote sex positivity and sexual liberation. My YouTube Channel Glamerotica101 provides advice to millions around the globe on how to have more satisfying sex.

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