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"Suck my dick!" It's a request that is all over Grindr. What is supposed to be a gay... err... "dating" app has been overtaken by men who identify as straight. It led me to question: Why are men who claim to like women, on a dating app that is designed for homosexual men to meet each other in a safe space. There were several answers that were enlightening and inspired a new erotic novel.
"My wife hates sucking my dick!" one married man replied when I asked him. He requested that I not use his real name, and I am complying with that request. When Married Man and his wife started dating, she was more than happy to go down on him anytime he wanted, but refused to have sex with him. At the time, he didn't care because he was getting head regularly and if he had the urge to fuck, his college roommate was more than happy to take the pounding. He admitted to cheating on his wife with the roommate quite a few times, including one Thanksgiving weekend when she was home with her family but he decided to stay at school under the guise of wanting to finish a project. When Married Man was asked if he thought he was bi, he said no. To him, it was a matter of fulfilling a need. Still, it made me wonder about how fluid sexuality really is.
For those that aren't familiar, there is something called the Kinsey Scale. Basically, the Kinsey Scale rates how hetero or homosexual someone is. "0" is perfectly hetero, never had a gay thought or experience. A "6" is perfectly homosexual, no straight fantasies or experiences. Most people fall in the middle of the scale, even if they don't admit it. To be fair, most females embrace their sexuality being fluid. However, their some of their male counterparts have an issue with that. Or at least they did at one point in time.
Another man who identified as straight, Todd, had a different way to explain it to me. He said that while he would never be in a relationship with a dude, he didn't mind if a guy or multiple guys went down on him. One of the stories he recounted was about a party he went to. His girlfriend disappeared with someone else, and a gay couple kept hitting on him. They finally went to a bedroom, he unzipped and they went to town on his dick. After he orgasmed, he offered to fuck them. One of the guys accepted. He and the partner performed an Eiffel Tower on the bottom. At some point, they switched and he blew another load in the bottom's mouth. He was also quite insistent that there had been no kissing. In his view, this did not make him gay or bi because he had a girlfriend. He labeled himself as hetero-flexible.
How is this new label different from bisexuality or bi-curiosity? Basically, it allows the men who want to still identify as straight to do as such, but it also allows for them to have a guy suck their dick and not feel as if it were gay. Is there a simpler explanation for all of this?
Some would argue that both Married Man and Todd are using modern examples of the old argument that a mouth is a mouth. A few older friends of mine have said that men who identify as straight had used that argument with them. None admitted to acquiescing to the will of the hetero man but it's not hard to believe that they did. After all, a mouth is a mouth. Right?