Interview with a Sex Addict

In the beginning...there was a boy. And he loved sex.

I knew my friend loved to have sex, but I didn’t know how much of an addict he was. So I decided to sit down with him one day and ask him some questions about his addiction. Some of the responses surprised me (maybe they'll surprise you).

-Why is sex so addictive to you?

It is one of the great addictions you can ever have. It doesn't cost you much. Maybe dinner. You find the right people that KNOW it's for FUN and not trying to mix anything extra. Like emotional attachments. Just fun. Simple. Also, there's always something new to try. You think you've done it all then something new comes up.

-What is something new that's come up?

Married sex. Trying to get your wife to enjoy the world because she's been in this little box of what "sex" should be her whole life. Being the extrovert that I am and getting her to venture out of her comfort zone, without hurting her feelings is something new on its own.

-Sounds like that'll be a topic for later discussion...let's move on.

-Who influenced these sexual tendencies first?

Back when I was a teenager, I was cheated on. It was for vengeance. She cheated on me and I was like "I'm gonna f*** every one of her friends!" That was when it kicked in that this is fun and you realize all the different experiences that you can have and how much fun it can be. Sex when you're a kid is frowned upon...but nah it's all in good fun.

-Did you end up with every one of her friends?

Nope. There were two that got away. They didn't really get away...I just didn't have sex with them.

-Where all would you have sex?

Anywhere. I did not care. Spontaneous is best for me. Places where you least expect were my favorite.

-What is your favorite part about sex?

New experiences. Right off the bat. It’s boring to stay in the box and be like everyone else. Who knows, you could find a new way that gets you off better than plain old missionary.

There was also this one time I had a threesome with my best friend. We were all a little toasty. She just got done eating a blue candy cane. My friend was going from behind and I was going in from the front. An Eiffel Tower position, if that helps give you a visual. Well my d*** looked like a smurf threw up on it. It was gross, but awesome at the same time.

Or there was this other time I was in high school still. I would get blown just about everyday by the chick I was with at the time. Under the bleachers. It was awesome.

I could go on for days with stories.

-I see that! You had quite the childhood. We'll have to elaborate more next time.

Yeah I did! It’s made me into the person I am today.

-You don't have a favorite move? Position? Anything?

Nope. I like to see when a lady is enjoying herself the most. Getting her to do something that she doesn't want to do, but ends up enjoying herself. Like when I convinced my wife to dress up. She thought it was silly…now it’s one of her favorites.

-When do you think you'll stop?

Oh. Probably when I die. Sex is what keeps you young, your pulse going, feeling good about yourself. It's what keeps you alive.

In the end…I’ve come to realize that sex isn’t just to have sex with the one person you are with for the time being or the rest of your life. Or if that’s what you choose then fine. But it works out best if you keep things interesting ;)