How to Talk Dirty

Talking dirty can be a turn-on, and if it's done right, it can be an incredible turn-on. The mind is the most important sex organ, and it can be reached by words, as well as by physical contact. When making love, we can also enjoy saying things to each other that we don't ordinarily say, just as we enjoy feeling parts of each other's bodies that we don't usually feel. All those great words: fuck, screw, shit, piss, clit, cock, etc., have the sacred power to arouse the erotic forces in us. One of the reasons these words are often banned from polite usage is to preserve their strength. Overuse would dull their impact and detract from their primordial powers.

Let's suppose that you and your girl are looking for ways to heat things up in your relationship. An easy and free way to spice it up is with dirty talk. Now obviously, you are not going to assault her with a string of dirty words at this stage—that would probably be the quickest way to turn her off. However, you might want to try talking dirty. It is important to note that some people, men and women alike, aren’t turned on by dirty talk. But it can’t hurt to try. Talking dirty could add some heat to your relationship but if she’s not into it, don’t force it. Starting slow and seeing how she reacts may be the best bet.

Take her hand and slide it over your cock. Ask her, "What do you feel?"

“I feel your cock," she'll answer. If she does not, coach her. Have her say again and again, "I feel your cock. I feel your hard, long cock." Have her say it until the word starts to fill her throat, make her play with the word in her mouth while she is playing with your cock in her hand.

"Where is it going to go?"

"It's going into my pussy, into my pussy." Have her repeat it again and again until she can feel it. "I can feel your cock coming into my pussy."

While she is talking, start to play with the outside of her pussy with your fingers, but don't put them inside. Let her say the words, feeling it in her imagination, before she feels it for real. That's the whole point of talking dirty. Keep her imagination ahead of reality, so that the real thing is even more of a turn on when it happens.

Dirty Talkers of the Past

Your imagination can take it from there. The writer James Joyce, whose Ulysses was one of the first erotic works allowed into the country, had a lively and dirty correspondence with his wife. Referring to her as his naughty little fuckbird and describing in detail their sexual acts in his letters, Joyce revved up her sexual energy for an impassioned relationship.

Some people can really get into words like "pussy" and "cock"; others like to make up their own private words. In Lady Chatterley's Lover, Lady Chatterley and her lover, the gamekeeper, make up their own words for their private parts. Lady Chatterley's pussy is Lady Jane, and her lover's cock is John Thomas. If my memory serves me correctly, Lady Chatterley's ass is Lady Ann. They were all brought together in a song by The Rolling Stones.

Lady Chatterley and her lover play their games, and John Thomas, Lady Jane, and Lady Ann play theirs. Lady Chatterley and her lover get endless fun out of talking about John Thomas and Lady Jane, what they are doing, what they want, and how they feel. You might want to try making up your own pet names, or you might be happy with the familiar words, like "cock" and "pussy."

Talking Out Your Fantasies

Of course, talking dirty can be as imaginative as your lovemaking (if not more so). Talking to your partner about eating her out, or having her suck you off, can go with oral sex. Talking to her about your wanting to get into her ass can turn her on to anal sex. Wetting your finger in your mouth and running it over her ass until the tip of the moist finger touches her asshole, you might say, "I can feel your asshole. I can feel my fingers working into you. I want to be in you there. Oh, how I want my cock in your ass, feeling it reaching up deep inside you."

If you have been thinking about group sex, you might want to try it first in fantasy. Talking dirty is a great way to stir up erotic fantasies. While you are making love to your partner with her on top, you might say, "While I am in your pussy, you could have another man in your ass, which is sticking so prettily up in the air." Without even having to include another person into the mix, the addition of sex toys could help you live out this fantasy as you dirty talk to one another.

Just by talking, you can go through an entire group sex seduction in fantasy. You and your partner could pick another couple you would like to make it with and take turns developing the story of the meeting and seduction, giving detailed descriptions of who does what with whom. Play it to the hilt; Imagine everything both of you ever wanted to do, with all the juicy details. After all, it's your story, and you are the ones who are talking dirty. Of course, your fantasies need in no way be limited to group sex. In fact, they shouldn't be limited at all. It's only talk. You and your partner know best what your fantasies are.

Once you get into the habit of talking dirty with your partner, the sky's the limit. You may even find that your partner is a real natural for talking dirty; many women are. They just don't know it because nobody ever got them started. That's your job.

Whisper sweet nothings in her ear—but where do you whisper dirty sweet nothings? In bed, of course, but as long as you are whispering, you can really do it anywhere. You can do it at a party and get your partner so turned on that she wants to leave. Do it in the movies, and you might end up making out. You can do it in a crowded elevator and share some erotic secret without anyone else knowing, or you can do it in an empty elevator, and if you both get turned on, see how far you dare go before the elevator gets to your floor.

Remember, sex is something we do with our whole selves, not just the sex organs. Both body and mind get turned on during really good sex. One way to turn the mind on is to say just the right thing at the right time. When that time arrives, don't be afraid to talk dirty. It can really pay off.