You know how it goes...when you first started your sex life out, it was fun, magical, and there was always something new that made your head spin. But life happens. Whether it's work, kids, a "headache," or boredom, sex can get mundane after a while. We lose that "teenage lust" that we all once had. We find ourselves so caught up on the to-do list of the day that we forget to appreciate and admire our partners sometimes. I'm not saying we should all act like teenagers and go at it like rabbits in mating season, but I do have a few tips on gaining some of that lust back.
Regardless of if you've been with your partner for six months, six years, or 60 years, if you find that sex has become something of a chore, or you just can't seem to find the time of day, I sincerely encourage you to read on.
1. Take the time to admire your partner...OUT LOUD!
When you find yourself caught up in the motions of the day (almost like a robot), try and take a few minutes and just watch your partner. It doesn't matter what they're doing or when it is. Picture your man working on the leaky faucet or your woman reaching into the cupboards. Now, sit back and just admire them (and make sure they know it!). Picture your man's arms getting soaked from the leak and glistening in the light. Picture your woman's legs leading up to her more fun area's and ADMIRE IT! While you're admiring, make sure to say what's in your head out loud. It will take your partner by surprise and make them feel good about themselves, thus making them want to take the time to give you a quick nip (and maybe something even better later).
2. Roleplay OUTSIDE the bedroom.
Everyone's heard of bedroom roleplay. Taking that roleplay and incorporating it outside the bedroom can also be fun. Pretend you're meeting for the first time. Tell your partner exactly what's on your mind. Recreate the moment you first kissed/said I love you/had an intimate moment between the two of you. Reminisce about how you felt about each other when you first met often. It doesn't seem like much, but it keeps the fire alive (and trust me, there's always something new that you will/can learn).
3. Get turned on without getting turned on.
Remember when you were so in love with your partner that the sound of their laugh or their radiant smile turned you on? It seems silly that something so mundane could possibly turn someone on, right? False. When you fall in love with someone, you fall in love with all of them. If your partner says that they've never gotten turned on watching you laugh, they're lying. Remember those times, live in the moment, and embrace it again.
4. Tell your partner when you're hot.
Whether it's in the middle of them doing dishes, cooking dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, or washing the toilet; tell them! Being honest about when and why they're getting you hot may make them get just as horny as you.
5. Again, ADMIRE your partner.
Now, we get more into the bedroom side of things. Instead of crawling into bed at separate times, try making a day and time to crawl into it at the same time. I understand that with work schedules and kids, this isn't always easy or a possibility, but there should at least be one day every two weeks that you make the time, even in the middle of the day, to lay in bed together.
While in bed together, bare yourselves as much as possible and just admire. Look into their eyes, the smoothness of their skin, the curve of their spine, that small scar on their shoulder from that bike accident when they were nine...Love every inch of them with your eyes, all while telling them at the same time.
6. Try your partner's new ideas.
Communicate about your fantasies. What position have you never tried before that you'd like to try? Did you have a dream about being whisked away to the Bahamas? Maybe a dream of some erotic foreplay? Talk about it!
Try that new position. Dress up and decorate your spot like the Bahamas and buy some cheap margarita mix from Giant Eagle. Try spicing up your foreplay with blindfolds or whatever else your crazy brains came up with. Get as crazy as you want. You should be 100 percent comfortable with your partner in what your needs and desires are, as they should be with you.
7. SURPRISE your partner.
Can you even remember the last time you touched or had an intimate moment together? Surprise them with candles and a sensual backrub when they get home from work (or a blacklight Nerf war if that's more your style). Turn all the lights down, dress up (or down), and wait. When they come to you, don't give them the opportunity to speak. Grab them, tell them something you love about them, and kiss them. Tell them what you've been feeling and why you wanted to surprise them the way you did.
Ladies, a helpful tip; men are sensitive too. Don't belittle him because he's been working long hours and you are feeling repressed (he's probably feeling repressed, too). Don't tell him sex has been "boring as hell" because you guys do the same move; take charge! Sometimes, men are dense and need a gentle push into the communication zone.
8. Make it FUN!
Don't let sex become a chore. Make a joke right in the middle and laugh together before going back at it. Take your time, when you can, caressing, touching, and being in the moment. Tell them you love them before you climax and tell them what you love about them. Talk.
The most important thing to keep in mind to keep your love young is: remembering to communicate as often as possible. Reminisce and love each other. Remind each other that, even though life happens and can get in the way and make it hard, you still are the same young souls that fell in love. That spark isn't gone, it's just suppressed. Release it and revel in the love reborn!