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How to Orgasm More

The dirty tips and tricks you need to heighten your orgasm to its fullest potential.

The big O-word, aka orgasm, can illicit uncomfortable reactions as it has long been misunderstood as “unimportant” or “taboo” for many women around the world, but fortunately recent studies have identified certain characteristics that are connected with women who orgasm more. Surrounded by social norms and even religious restrictions, sadly many women have been denied the pleasure of experimenting with orgasms. One thing we know for sure is that these tricky sensations are unique to each individual and their body. So some simple logic for you- no experimentation equals no orgasm. “The more you learn about your own body’s responses, the more adept you'll be at quickly reaching an orgasm,” says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, author of Sex with your Ex.

Whether you orgasm regularly or you’ve never fully experienced an orgasm, there are always new tips and tricks to integrate into your routine. Take a look at these 6 characteristics that help you to orgasm more.

Communicate

Well, most of us know that communication is key in every relationship, but turns out it actually has a big effect on sex life and orgasms as well. Communication plays two roles here.  In deeper, more connected relationships where communication is transparent and understood, females are more likely to orgasm. Orgasming is inherently sexual but can also be deeply emotional. So if a woman feels connected to her partner both physically and emotionally, she is more likely to orgasm.

Communication also can and should be part of sex; confidence is key here. Research shows that both women and men benefit from positive feedback, saying “I love you” during sex, and playing around with dirty talk. If words don’t come too easily when things are getting hot, show your partner what you like. Using words and actions to aid your orgasms is a great way to heighten the bliss for both of you. 

Foreplay

Keep those clothes on a little longer than usual to heighten anticipation

It’s no mystery that foreplay leads to more orgasms. But still many people underestimate the power of foreplay. In a study published by Archives of Sexual Behavior it’s shown that 86% of lesbian women always orgasm, compared to 66% of bisexual women and 65% of straight women. Why is this? Well alongside several other reasons, lesbian couples tend to focus much more foreplay than heterosexual couples. Getting yourself and your partner aroused before sex can really help to heat things up, especially when it comes to getting that O. Put a little more emphasis into the making out, oral sex, or sensual touching and you'll feel some forceful desires. You can begin even before you’re with your partner. Try teasing yourself by masturbating just to the brink and stopping right before you climax. This will ensure that you’re sexually stimulated and bring that orgasm to the max. 

Spice things up!

Changing up the routine is an easy and fun tactic to hit that orgasm more. This one can be done whether you’re on your own or with a partner. There are many ways to stray away from the typical positions and techniques. Fantasize! Talk about your favorite fantasies with your partner and don’t be afraid to experiment with some foreplay. Visualize or describe specific details. If you are already mentally stimulated, your body is more likely to respond to external stimulants. Sexual experimentation can greatly help to deepen your relationship with your partner and also increase your confidence in bed, a timeless skill I would argue. 

Try out a sex toy. Even the most simple lube can help to eliminate that painful friction you may experience during sex. If you´ve never tried a vibrator, I would highly recommend it. I mean, the sole purpose of it is to help you orgasm and now there’s a huge variety of choices that vary by size, shape, texture, vibration frequency, the list goes on. It’s solid science that vibrators or other sex toys will help you orgasm more or more intensely. If you do have a partner, it doesn’t have to replace him or her, play around with it together to ultimately enhance the experience for bothof you.

Try something new

Experiment with someone from the opposite sex that you normally partner with. It’s 2017. Guys and sexual preferences definitely don't have to be black and white anymore. So test out the waters for yourself; it can be especially valuable for women, many whom have unfortunately learned not to orgasm during sex. While it’s usually expected for men to orgasm, women have somehow been left behind, our orgasms deemed “optional.” Enough is enough, whether you’re a man or a woman, don’t make orgasming optional! Experimenting with someone who understands the complexity of our female genitals is yet another method to help you orgasm more.

Focus outside the bedroom

More orgasms = more love. Simple math shows us more orgasms lead to less war.

Circumstances outside the bedroom like your own confidence or the strength of your relationship can enhance and speed up orgasms inside the bedroom. Put the extra effort into your relationship; surprise your partner; try something new; express your love deeply through your actions. Research has showed that a stronger, healthier relationship is sure to lead to a better sex to O ratio.

Try sexually stimulating positions

Certain sex positions make it easier than others for women to orgasm, which probably explains preferences of many. For most women, the easiest position to orgasm is on top. That way, you can control the speed, depth and frequency of the motions. Everyone is unique in what they like most, but here are a few tricks to help you orgasm more. When on top try moving your hips in an oval circle instead of just up and down. If your partner is on top, tell him to move quickly at first, exciting your body, and then slow it down so you can enjoy each move. During oral sex, tell your partner to use his finger to touch your g-spot while continuing with his tongue magic.

Again remember to communicate with your words and actions; don´t be afraid to show him what you like. It’s a might be an awkward feeling at first, but worthy nonetheless because as you learn what helps you orgasm more, it will only bring more orgasms...

Don't only focus on the G-spot

Times have changed and the idolized g-spot is not what orgasms are all about anymore! When it comes to things that help you orgasm more, you must understand the parts of the body that are most easily stimulated. There are two vaginal points that typically help women to orgasm, one being the clitoris and the other the G-spot. The dime sized g-spot can be located by inserting one finger into the vagina and making the “come here” motion. The ears and nipples can be equally if not more stimulating. Playing with these delicate body parts during sex or foreplay can help move you easily to that O. Insider tip: right before your climax tell your partner to squeeze your nipples. As it's much more difficult for women to orgasm during typical vaginal sex than men, it's important to focus on other parts of the body as well.

As in life we all have individual desires and needs, the same applies to orgasms. Although unique to each person, we now know certain characteristics that women have who orgasm more often. Getting to know yourself sexually is the most beneficial thing you can do to orgasm more. Once you know what you like, communicate it to your partner. Communication, creativity, foreplay, and focus on easily stimulated body parts or more stimulating sex positions are all things that will help you orgasm more.

Sophie Heller
Sophie Heller

Like most other 20 somethings I'm doing what I can to find my place in this crazy planet. For me that means traveling, enjoying nature, reading, writing and embracing a nomadic lifestyle, always with an open mind and heart. 

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