Condoms are amazing inventions. They prevent STDs, allow you to prevent pregnancy, and also can seriously enhance your sex life if you know how to use them correctly. Despite all the perks of using them, there are many people out there who don't want to use them.
The truth is that a lot of people, both men and women, will try to avoid using condoms — even though that's a very stupid decision on their part. If you want to avoid STDs, pregnancy, and other bad stuff, you'll use one and learn how to insist on using condoms every time you do the deed.
If you're shy, this guide will help you stay safe while you have fun.
Bring your own with you.
Part of learning how to insist on using a condom is learning to carry them around with you. A lot of guys will use the excuse, "I don't have a condom, but you're so sexy — let's just do it without."
Guys really do think that sweet-talking you will convince you to have sex sans-condom. Don't fall for it. A baby or an STD is not worth having a five-minute session of unprotected sex.
By having a condom with you at all times, you can immediately put this situation to a stop. Just say you have one and start opening up the condom before he even has time to argue about it.
In most cases, if you act like it's the norm, he'll roll with it without question. Therefore, acting like it's understood he'll use a condom will probably help make it happen without too much of an issue.
Make it sexy.
There are a lot of ways to make condom usage sexy. Asking for one in a sexy way, for example, can help get a guy into the idea. Offering to help him put it on also does wonders, especially if you offer to use your mouth to put it on him.
This is also a good way to frame your insistence on condom use as a thing he should want to do for your pleasure. If you're using this method, you can tell him, "Look, this is just a personal preference of mine. These ribbed condoms really rub me the right way, know what I mean?"
Using your hands and mouth aren't the only way you can help him put it on, either. If you look at different sex guides online, you'll find a few guides to show you how to insist on using a condom in a kinky, wild way.
Show him that condoms can be cool.
It's way more enjoyable to learn how to insist on using condoms every time if you make condoms into something that's actually fun to shop for.
You can create your own custom, funny, and memorable condoms on Say It With A Condom. Create your own with your partner — make it a fun, shared experience.
The cool thing about condoms is that they come in every single shape and size. There are condoms out there for every kind of person — textured ones, colored ones, flavored ones, and even glow-in-the-dark ones!
Take your partner condom shopping the way you would if you were buying sex toys. By showing your partner that condoms can be pretty cool sex gear, they'll be way more into it when you do try it out.
If he asks to go bareback, just say no.
You'd be surprised at how many guys will be blunt and ask to go raw in there. That's why the bulk of learning how to insist on using a condom is about learning to maintain your boundaries.
It's okay to tell a guy "no." Really, it is. Because, at the end of the day, a guy who's worth your time will respect you enough to agree to the boundaries that you set.
You need to remember that there's absolutely nothing wrong with refusing to have sex without a condom.
You're not a "bad guy" or a "fun ruiner" by establishing your own boundaries. If he has a problem with it, that's on him — not you.
"No" is a full sentence, and you should never have to justify condom use with anyone. That being said, you can offer explanations and rebuttals if you want to, but it's never mandatory.
Don't be afraid to walk, rebuttal, or get angry if he whines, wheedles, or otherwise keeps trying to avoid condom usage.
A lot of guys just don't want to hear that they have to use a condom — and many of them somehow think this is acceptable. Newsflash: it's not.
A guy who keeps trying to overstep his boundaries, especially when it comes to something that could result in a lethal STD or pregnancy, is not someone you should sleep with.
Men who refuse to use condoms are proving that they're bad decision makers, selfish, immature, and also have no issue with putting YOU at risk for THEIR own enjoyment. Therefore, this should be a deal breaker for you and any relationship you'd have wanted to have with him.
At this point, your words and your willingness to walk are the best tools you can use to empower yourself. Check out these awesome lines that'll show you how to insist on using a condom and give him good reasons why you’re sticking to your guns.
- "No glove, no love. We're not discussing this further, it's not up for negotiation." This is a reply that's firm and draws a line in the ground. It's up to him to decide what he wants to do next.
- "Don't you like me enough to actually respect my choices?" This is a good way to turn the guilt trip of "Don't you trust me?" around on him, and give him a taste of his own manipulation. (Then again, if he's using those kinds of ploys, you might be better walking.)
- "I care enough about you to make sure we're both protected." A great rebuttal to him saying that you'd go bareback "if you were really in love" with him.
- "Trust me, you'll still have fun. Besides, condoms feel so good for me, and it'd really show me how much you care." This is a good rebuttal if he says it feels better without a condom or if he says they’re uncomfortable.
- "Dude, you're coming off as really sleazy. This is making me really uncomfortable." Shame is a thing that can work, and saying this will make most guys realize that they're crossing lines they shouldn't cross.
If he's still insisting and trying to wheedle his way, here are some great lines to end things right there:
- "If it's such an issue, I don't think this is going to work out. Sorry." Just tell him this, and leave. If he agrees to use a condom, it's often still better to just leave because condom usage should never be such a big ordeal.
- "You know, all this bickering about condom use and the way you're acting put me out of the mood. Maybe later, okay?" This is a great way to call things off without looking mean about it.
- "Well, I'm sorry that you couldn't be satisfied with the fact that a girl wanted to sleep with you. I think you should look for someone else; clearly I'm not enough for you." Say this if he keeps acting like he could get it elsewhere without a condom — and then leave. If his behavior warrants this kind of reaction, then doing this will allow you to dodge a nuclear warhead.
- "We're done here. Bye, Felipe!" Because any guy who can't respect your sexual choices is totally Felipe.
In an ideal world, we shouldn't have to read up on how to insist on using a condom — we just would.
But, we're in reality. And, in reality, not everyone will do the right thing. So, it's up to us to protect ourselves and our sexual health while we’re out in the dating scene. Thankfully, most people will respect that every step of the way — and the ones that won’t aren’t worth dating.