How to Have Shower Sex the Right Way

Knowing how to have shower sex is not as simple as it seems. Save yourself from a world of hurt: read on.


You want to give shower sex a try, huh? Of course you do! It's the subject of all of your romance novels' steamiest scenes. With beaded droplets dripping down the hero's chest, the heroine's fingers leaving streaks in the condensation as her head rolls back into the water—nothing is more sensual. 

But you've never tried in such a... wet setting before, let alone one so small. And you're not old enough to have a life alert button; what if you take a spill and hurt yourself in the act? Will your partner be able to get dry fast enough to take you to a hospital, or would you die of embarrassment first? 

Don't let the nightmare scenarios turn you off. There are so many positives and tips for sex in the shower to learning how to have shower sex that the negatives should serve as nothing more than a pretense for caution. Want to have some good, clean fun on your period? Shower sex! One of you needs some serious scrubbing action before getting down and dirty, but the mood simply cannot wait? Shower. Sex.

But the skills for good shower sex differ somewhat from what you may be used to. Here are some tips to have shower sex the right way.

Do some preemptive cleaning.

Showers are sexy. You know what's not sexy? Soap scum. Bright lights. Collections of rusty razors. You don't want her thoughts during shower sex to be, "Ew, he needs to clean this thing." Sure, in the heat of the moment, this may not be a concern to either of you. Certainly, it won't be when you're bleary-eyed and headed toward a round of pre-work morning sex. But if you're treading uncertainly into new sexual territory, then it might be worth making your environment as inviting as possible. Next time you're in there, take a good look at your bathroom and see if you can find room for improvement. Even if you're just taking out the pile of dirty towels and adding a candle on the counter, you'll be glad you did.

Play on your senses.

While you're already cleaning up your bathroom, why not take it to the next level of "feel good"? One of the biggest aspects of learning how to have shower sex is realizing how much it helps to get all of your senses involved in the fun. Get some music ready to help set the mood. Invest in some titillating shower bombs to amp up your scent game, as well. To be fair, some may find this to be a bit on the extra side, which is fine. But if this appeals to you, go for it!

Get a mat, or two, or three.

Photo by Karla Alexander on Unsplash

If you don't already have one, a mat for the bottom of your shower or bathtub can be a lifesaver—literally. The ultimate guide to shower sex even says that even if you're not at the point in your life where these are a daily necessity, definitely consider getting one for those more energetic days. Similarly, you can get ones for shower walls as well. If you find yourself slipping while your legs are around his waist, some treads may be in order. He'll likely appreciate you not sliding away quite so much.

Have something to hold onto.

...that's not each other, just so we're clear. Not all showers are created equal, so you'll need to evaluate your own to see if you need to invest in some shower handles or not. These babies can handle up to 500lbs, meaning you'll be able to go wild with relative safety. Your shower still may not be the best place for any real acrobatics, but you won't necessarily have to be sex-ing on eggshells in there, which is certainly an improvement. 

Switch up your supplies.

Condoms, as you may know, are not typically assumed to be used in hot water. Because of this, their structural integrity isn't exactly guaranteed to hold up in such conditions as, well, being under hot water. This isn't to say you shouldn't use one when having shower sex—you absolutely should—but you should also have a backup contraceptive method. Your condoms NEED backup, this time. Staying safe is staying sexy. 

Also, leave your water-based lubricants on the nightstand. While having shower sex, silicone-based lubricants are your new best friend. (You might even like them so much you use them every time. But, at the very least, they won't break down in water. Sorry, water-based lube.)

Stock up on some "shower-only specials."

If you're into bringing toys into the bedroom, adding the shower to your list of "hot spots" will be a great way to expand your collection of playthings. During your research into how to have shower sex, don't forget to shop around for some inspiration. There are tons of shower-related toys to look into: shower-wall handcuffs (perfect for some face to face action,) vibrating sponges, dissolving rose petals, and even flavored soap. (Yes, really.) But the only way to enjoy these toys is in the shower. So exclusive.

Be mindful of the time, unless you like cold water.

Like in any sexual encounter, you should take your time to enjoy yourself and relax. Shower sex isn't any different. You do, however, have a time bomb of sorts hovering over your heads... unless you're lucky enough to live somewhere with limitless hot water, that is. Be sure to avoid letting your water run cold; nothing dampens a sensual experience like a cold shower, after all. 

Now is the time for tongues.

While it is inarguable that natural scents and tastes that our bodies may have are nothing to be ashamed of, that doesn't stop many people from being self-conscious of the way their parts may smell or taste in the bedroom. Take advantage of what your shower environment has to offer and give them an oral experience they won't forget! With the reassurance that scents and flavors are at a minimum, those of us with insecurities can take the time to enjoy oral sex completely stress-free. 

Find a position.

As we've already covered, the shower sex experience can be dangerous. And while it's possible that may be part of the excitement in of itself, you should still be careful. Start with a shower sex position that isn't risky but is still intimate in order to get comfortable with each other in this new environment. Standing up and having your partner take you from behind à la doggy style is a good choice—his entire body will be very close behind you, creating a sense of intimacy that is as sensuous as it is comforting. 

If you have a tub for your shower, another position you can try is to have your partner lay back and let you take the lead on top. Facing them or facing away from them is entirely up to you and your space limitations; try both and see which works. 

And if you're the adventurous type that doesn't mind a challenge, don't miss the chance to try some steamy wall sex; stand facing each other and put your arms around his neck, then let him hold you against the back of the shower as you wrap your legs around his waist. If you opted for those wall treads we mentioned earlier, this should be easy.

Enjoy yourself, and take it elsewhere if you want to.

More than anything, remember that there are no rules to sex unless you and your partner decide on them together. There's no law saying that, once you initiate shower sex, you cannot leave until you're 100% finished. (How scary would that be?) So if you're having trouble, there's nothing wrong with dedicating your shower time to foreplay and taking the main event to bed. The main goal is and should always be your and your partner's pleasure. And if that means hopping in the shower to have some steamy cuddles—or to go straight to marathoning anal play—then you, in the end, know how to have shower sex the right way. Keep these tips in mind, and stay safe. 

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How to Have Shower Sex the Right Way
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