Cody Holmes
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How to Discuss Your Inner Bedroom Desires

Communication is the key!

I know it can be embarrassing or awkward to speak to your partner about what you do and don't want in the bedroom, but if you don't you're never going to get your perfect version of sex. I have been with my partner for nearly two years, although we actually slept together four years ago, it's quite a funny story but that's not the point here. When I slept with Charlie four years ago it was awful, granted I took his virginity so it was understandable, but it wasn't great and really awkward. When we got together in 2016, I was nervous it was going to still be something I wanted to be over, but I was pleasantly surprised. However, it wasn't for at least nine months that we really started to relax and show each other what we wanted in the bedroom. See, I realised that I like it a little rough, so does he and we actually figured that out organically by body language, but it was the communication afterwards that helped us both realise that we were willing to try something a little more rough. Through that communication it went from grabbing and biting each other's lips quite hard, to a hand around the neck, then we decided to try handcuffs and so on and so forth. So a way you could bring up the subject without dropping it right in a conversation would be after you've finished having sex and your lying there in bed, say how good it was and give them a kiss, then suggest maybe next time you could try either a certain position or more kissing or less kissing; it's really what you want. Obviously, I mean only bring it up when you're truly comfortable, it shouldn't be difficult and awkward and if it is then maybe your just not there yet and you need to wait a little longer until your comfortable enough to discuss it. I never want to make my man feel bad about anything in the bedroom because even if it had never changed I'd still be happy, however, it does create a new sense of intimacy when you can share your wants and desires in the bedroom.

Another way to bring it up could be maybe after a couple of drinks, me and my partner are so much more confident and willing to try new things when we've had a few drinks and had a good night. I bought Charlie a pair of handcuffs for his birthday because it was something I wanted to try but I was nervous about bringing it up. Well, when we had some drinks at the pub and went home I suggested, a in humorous way, that we try them out and it just lightened the mood a little and eased us into trying something a little new and scary, now we use them a couple times a month and it's great!

To sum up, I'd like to just suggest that even if you're scared and feel a little awkward, if your relationship is ready then bring it up, get adventurous and have fun. I find researching eases my anxiety about anything new I'm trying, in and out of the bedroom, so if you're not exactly sure what you want but you want to mix it up then do some research, I brought a glow in the dark sex position die and it was such fun to use because it was just such a lovely and fun way to connect with the person I love. Go experiment and have fun!

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How to Discuss Your Inner Bedroom Desires
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