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Being in an sexclusive, monogamous relationship with a person that also isn't a relationship and it's casual is bit confusing... And by a bit, I mean a lot. Especially when the guy you happen to be in this 'relationship' with both says he never wants to be in a relationship but also seems to drop hints suggesting otherwise.
Now, you could very easily say that I was reading into to these instances far too much and I'm going to be honest, I have no intention on acting on any of these hints. Why? Well, I don't want to be wrong. Or scare Hershey off because he doesn't fully realize it himself. Or be wrong and then scare him off. If I were to be the one to make the first move, well, that's me breaking the one rule he set for me ("Don't fall for me")... Even if I wasn't exactly the one who fell.
Enough with the explaining, onto the hints dropped!
Whilst debating what to get for take out, he mentions a good poutine place nearby. To which I reply that I'm not really a fan of poutine. I'm a big fan of fries and gravy but when cheese is added to the mix it just isn't as appealing to me. This seemed to hit a cord in him and he quickly joked, "That's it, we can never get married."
"Well, you don't even want to date me, so we good," I laughed.
Then there was a long pause and he mumbled something that I can only assume to be agreement. Then changed the topic.
The following morning was the first time the two of us had a sleep in together due to neither of us having to work. So we hung around his place before we went out and got coffee before we walked down to the beach and chatted on a log, looking out on the ocean. We talked about a variety of things but the one thing that caught me off guard was when he started talking about his parents and he mentioned that the last time he visited his dad he said, "If you had one partner, none of this would have happened," in reference to his STI.
This wasn't what surprised me because it made sense to me that his dad would say that. Parents are like that and Hershey had been sleeping around for three years, all that just clicked in my brain. What confused me was the long stare that followed before he quickly changed the topic to something different.
When he had to leave to go and meet with his friend, he walked me over to my bus stop which happened to be right there. Then as we were about to part ways, he kissed me goodbye. Now this might not seem weird to most people. But as I mentioned somewhere on this site, after the first time, we didn't do any of the relationship rituals like hugging hello or kissing goodbye... Ever. Why? Because we aren't in a relationship. So, the kiss goodbye definitely caught me off guard and he quite literally ran away after. I mean, that could be because he was rushing to meet with his friend but still.
Later that day or week, I can't entirely remember when, we were talking about the sex we had had and how we had both enjoyed it and he replied, "I'm glad (: but like what if you get into a relationship :O"
Which was a bit confusing because... I felt as though the answer was quite obvious and the question didn't exactly need to be asked. If I was asking this casual dick to be monogamous obviously I would expect the same from a serious one. Meaning, that if I were to find someone, this arrangement would end and he could go back to fucking whomever he liked.
To which he replied, "Oh" with the laughing sweaty emoji.
A little confused, I was quick to remind him that this had always been a temporary agreement, signed, sealed, delivered, the moment he said he never wanted a relationship. He simply replied, "Tru" then completely changed the topic!
Then there is the final and most confusing part to all of this. In a month, Hershey is moving a two hour bus ride away. I'm not getting on a bus for two hours... for anything. So as we are talking I mention that I suppose that we have a bit of a timeline. Meaning that in a month, when he moves away, we are done. Because I figured with his work in the opposite direction of me, he wouldn't have much reason to be down here and I didn't really want to be a 'Oh well I'm getting drunk with my friends that night so let's have drunk sex' because that would violate my rules. I would be a booty call more than once a month and if I wasn't, I was only getting sex once a month.
I send this text saying that it sucks that it has to end because it was fun (I now remember that this is what instigated the above text message about me getting into a relationship). He replied that he has a car. Which means that he is willing to drive about an hour out of his way to come have sex with me. Which means that if we meet up during the week (as we usually do) he is lengthening his commute by about half an hour. Which also means on top of all of these other commitments, he is going to remain monogamous to me because things aren't changing because I'm not going to him.
Ultimately... I'm not complaining. This guy is cool and not a douche and great in bed. So like I'm only seeing positives...
But he is still gonna have to make a move if these are actually hints... And not just the most confusing way to tell a girl that she is clearly really great in bed.
Guys, I'm worth an hour drive.