There are a number of habits of couples who have a great sex life. Whether you've been together for a year, or 20 years, you have to realize that sex plays an enormous role in holding your relationship together. As much as it may be a little strange (or awkward) to hear, some of the most successful, long-lasting couples still have an active sex life well after their kids have grown up and left the nest. Here are some of the best habits of couples who have great sex lives.
They Make Sure Their Relationship is Healthy
First and foremost, you can't expect a strong, healthy sexual relationship if your overall relationship isn't solid. Trust issues, resentment, and constant clashing are a recipe for disaster under the sheets. In order to even begin to enjoy a healthy sex life, these issues need to be addressed. See a counselor and make a concerted effort to work on your relationship in order to reap the benefits of a hot and heavy sex life, ironing out issues is one of many habits of couples who have a great sex life.
Just as important as it is to have good communication in order to have a long-lasting and happy relationship, the same can be applied to your sex life, too. You may think faking an orgasm to make your partner feel better is a good thing, but can you imagine going through faking for the rest of your life? Not to mention that, on the contrary, feigning pleasure is more of an insult to your partner than anything else. Communication is one of the key habits of couples who have a great sex life. Let your partner know gently (and sexily), exactly how you like it. Guide your partner. In fact, teaching one another where your sweet spots are may well be a very big turn on.
Everyone has their kinks—some may be common, some not so much. Everyone has that one (or more) thing that totally gets them off. One of the habits of couples who have a great sex life is trusting your partner completely when it comes to telling them what really gets you going. On top of that, showing you trust your partner enough to open up about your turn ons can help them open up too. Unless you get off on something that is really bizarre, be honest and open, and, as you learn to trust more, you may find that you both start rubbing off on each other and enjoy the same kinks.
They Try New Things
One of the very common habits of couples who have a great sex life is being open to trying new things. Obviously, this is something that happens over time, as trust builds up and your mind's begin to open more. This goes hand in hand with trust and communication. Talk to each other about things you've always wanted to try but have always been too shy to do. There are also loads of fun sex games and ideas on the internet, as well as kinky board games you can buy.
They Might Even Roleplay
Roleplay can be loads of fun. You don't have to do the cheesy housewife who seduces the pizza boy (unless, of course, you want to). You also don't have to go to Fifty Shades of Grey extremes either (once again, of course, unless you want to). But being different people in the safety of your partner and surroundings is one of the really fun habits of couples who have a great sex life. Almost all men love the school girl fantasy—and perhaps, ladies, you may get off on a light spanking for handing in your homework assignment late (just a suggestion!).
They Don't Stop Dating
This is a cardinal rule for parents especially. If you're a parent and want to have the same habits of couples who have a great sex life, follow this advice. When a new baby arrives especially, couples can barely seem bothered to take a shower regularly, let alone make time for sex and alone time. This can cause havoc on your relationship, because, without sex, what are you really? Housemates. Take a timeout. Even if it's just one set night a month (something to look forward to), and whether you have a baby or just a couple of kids that need to be constantly removed from potentially deadly situations, get a babysitter! Alone time is crucial for parents. Don't forget who you were before the kids came—the sex marathons, make out sessions, and tummy flops. Most importantly, make sure whoever babysits, keeps the kids overnight—you can't have a hot date without following it up with a hot….well, you know.
Planned sex can get boring. After a few years, you may get into a routine of 'Monday and Wednesday after our favorite show is sexy time.' In the end, predictable sex will become very boring. Those couples who have a healthy sexual relationship are more than likely to be spontaneous and unpredictable. Out at a party? Sneak into a bathroom for a quickie. Sitting in the cinema? Ladies, get down there. No further explanation needed. Parking lots can also be loads of fun. Every couple should have a fun encounter in the backseat of a car at least once; you'll feel like teenagers all over again!
This one is for the ladies especially (although some men may have body issues too). As women, we'll never look like the flawless models we see in magazines. Why? Because they are as real as the tooth fairy. Take away the photoshop, makeup, lighting, professional photography, and what are you left with? Normal women. Pretty, perhaps, but far from perfect. Even if you've had kids, a real man will love you, stretch marks, cellulite and especially womanly curves. Learn to love your own flaws—men go wild for confident women. Another one of many habits of couples with a healthy sex life. Men are visual creatures. Walk around naked, have sex with the lights on. If anything, it will only turn him on more. Don't sell yourself short. Confidence is sexier than any airbrushed model.
They Dress Up
Granny panties and the same old bra you've worn for six days in a row won't really cause fireworks. If you're a busy mom, it's excusable and even necessary at times. You can't run around after kids in a thong and Wonderbra. However, make a concerted effort to surprise your partner with racy lingerie now and then. Show him you still have it. In fact, go shopping together and let him choose what he likes. Next time you go on your monthly date night, let him know what you're wearing underneath your outfit; you'll be able to cut the sexual tension with a knife, and clothes won't come off fast enough once you arrive home.
They Take Care of Themselves
This goes for both women and men. After the hormones settle down and lust turns to comfort, you may not even realize it, but many couples start to neglect their looks. Sure, it's great to be comfortable enough with each other that you can spend weekends slothing around, pigging out on your favorite junk food in your sweat pants and oversized jumpers. At the end of the day, though, it's not going to be much of a turn on. You're lovers, not friends. Staying fit and healthy is one of the habits of couples with a healthy sex life. It doesn't mean you're shallow—it means you respect each other enough to stay the same people you were when you first fell in love. Another one of the common habits of couples that have a healthy sex life is working out together. Not only is it an activity you can do together, but it keeps you fit, looking good, and is shown to have positive effects in the bedroom. This isn't to say you can't both have a cheat day with your oversized clothes and junk food movie days.
They Use the Bedroom as a Fun Room
This can be a dangerous, and difficult habit to break, but if you want to follow the habits of couples who have a healthy sex life, use your bedroom as your private "fun" area. Even if you have kids, ban the bedroom—it's for you and your partner only. Nowadays, technology is becoming the death of intimacy in the bedroom. So many couples lie in bed, separately, either scrolling through or chatting on their phones, or being pulled into whatever is on the TV. Remove all technology from your bedroom. You'll have no choice but to focus on each other, and only each other.