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Have you ever wanted to be told that you're a woman's best ever lay (and believe her when she says it)? Do you want to hear your girl scream and beg for more?
If you're one of the warriors fighting to close to 2:1 (on average) orgasm gap ratio I salute you, and I'm here to help you up your skills exponentially. All you need is a willingness to learn, and maybe some baby oil.
First, though, there are a few things you should know!
Getting Physical 101
Women by and large do not orgasm from penetrative sex alone so foreplay is really key, but women are complex creatures and even the best technique can fall short.
Here are a few things to consider if your attempts are bearing no fruit;
1. Do you need lube?
Women can become dry and sore for a number of reasons that have nothing to do with their libido; alcohol consumption, stress, and overstimulation can make her dry so don't shy away from a good lube. Just remember to check that it's condom safe.
2. Is she in the moment?
Women overthink, and sex is a very vulnerable moment for everyone. All those Sports Illustrated babes you drool over? She's spent her life being compared to, and comparing herself to, them. Some women are very body positive, but it's more likely that she'll have a few hangups. Make it clear that you find her attractive, that you love her body as a whole, and do not, for the love of god, compare her to any other women in the bedroom even in a positive way.
3. Give her feedback.
If you want a woman to gain confidence and take the lead you need to tell her what you like and what you don't like. Temper critiques with suggestions for improvements and praise, and when she does something you like, tell her.
4. Don't give up on kissing.
Intimacy is a huge part of arousal for many women; if kissing gets her in the mood, it's going to sustain it too so be sure to keep it up as you progress.
Giving Her The Best Orgasm of Her Life
So, here it is, the moment of truth; this is only one way to get your girl off so don't think the work ends here, but this method has never failed to get me off (I did the research for you guys, you're welcome).
Start slow; a massage never fails to get me in the mood, and women who love to be touched, kissed, or caressed are likely the same. The key here is to build tension and delay the progression; don't give her shoulders a few rubs then drag her pants down. Go slow.
Start with her head, neck, arms, and shoulders, and slowly work down her back until you're massaging the area just above her rear. Then skip over her ass and move to her feet. No, really. Unless she dislikes her feet being touched, then move to her calves. Work your way up and down her legs a few times until she's wriggling and raising her hips a little, then use your whole hand to massage her through her panties for a few seconds.
Take her pants off and start massaging her from top to bottom again. This time, once you've worked back up her legs, have a little fun and massage that ass you love so much. When she starts to breathe a little heavier and pushes her hips up to meet you, she's good to go.
You have three options here.
You can simply use your fingers on her clit while she lies on her stomach, but this is a little harder if you're not quite familiar with her body yet.
So turn her over, and use either your hands or mouth on her. Play with her nipples if she likes that kind of thing, or just move directly downwards. Contrary to popular belief the clitoris isn't just the 'bit at the top'; the clitoris is a very small pearl-like lump under the 'hood' at the top. Start by using your tongue or fingers on the flesh around it, then work onto the hood. Once she's starting to breathe a little faster, you can pull it back and see how she responds to direct contact.
Not all women are equally sensitive so experiment with pressure and pace, and tell her to give you feedback on what she does and doesn't like. Stimulate her clit until it starts to pull back; there's a moment where it will twitch and draw away; this is where you can either push on to get her off, or stop to begin a process of 'edging'.
If you want to be a real God in the bedroom you can bring her to this point a few times (remember to add extra lube if needed), or you can just bring her to orgasm more than once. Multiple orgasms are easier to achieve if you maintain light contact between 'rounds' (if she jerks when you stimulate her clit you might be applying too much pressure).
The best part of all this? Women who have had a non-penetrative orgasm are more likely to get off from penetration following that orgasm, so don't be afraid to grind on her once you do start getting it on!