G: Good Guy Gus

Excerpt Four of B.A.D.G.E.R.S.

The one everyone should find.

The History

There’s a lot of back story that comes with the good guy. They usually start out as friends and morph into the perfect human you picture spending the rest of your life with.

Gus was no exception.

I met Gus because I took my shirt off at a youth group event.

It was the summer before junior year of high school and there was an event involving water slides, water balloon fights, and hoses.

Naturally, I had my swimsuit on underneath my clothing.

And as I took my shirt off, Gus came over to talk to me.

We talked about a lot of nothing the rest of the night. But I knew there was something good about this kid.

We traded numbers and texted nonstop.

We agreed to get coffee one day and ended up spending the day together. We played some pool, walked around in the rain, and just genuinely had a good time.

I went to his house for his little brother’s birthday party where we had our first kiss.

He showed me his bedroom and played me some guitar at that party.

I found myself completely consumed with this kid.

Even though, he was overly hot-tempered and not the nicest toward his family.

That’s when I found out that he had been suspended from high school all of his sophomore year and would be attending my rival high school in the fall.

He got blamed for carrying razor blades around that weren’t his.

That was a great conversation to have with my mother.

At the time, Raven was seeing this guy named Aaron. Aaron and Gus were friends, which made double dates really easy.

We decided, one brisk October evening, to lose our virginities in our cars in the mall parking lot.

It really was that quick of a decision and something Raven and I wanted to do, with our respective boyfriends obviously.

I picked up Raven and we went to the mall. We each took our prospective virgin stealer and went to two separate cars.

Raven lost her virginity that night.

I did not.

I didn’t lose my virginity until November 4, 2009.

The Losing of the Virginity

We agreed in the car that October that we could not lose our virginities in a car.

We needed a bed.

I also wanted to make sure it was worth it.

He proposed to me on October 26, on the couch, by just generally asking without a ring (which isn’t a bad thing).

That’s when I figured it was worth it.

On November 4, we had a late arrival to our high schools. I agreed to come by his house before school so we could become each other’s firsts.

We crawled into his bed and I just couldn’t do it.

So, he said “Okay” and went into the bathroom to start a shower for us.

That’s when I knew it was worth it.

I knocked on the door of the bathroom and said I wanted to do it.

We laid down in bed, me on my back and him on top of me.

He rolled on a condom and slid inside.

We made the longest eye contact humanly possible before deciding that we didn’t understand what all of the fuss was about.

We got dressed and went to school without really thinking about what had happened.

What had happened was the beginning of my sexual prowess.

The Sex

Even though losing my virginity wasn’t the most glamorous experience, I knew that I wanted to try having sex again.

And there was no shortcoming of the amount of sex that we had.

We became horny high school-aged jackrabbits who always wanted to have sex.

I used to keep tabs on how often we had sex. I lost count after fifty because I was enjoying myself too much

That being said, I can’t recall every time that we had sex.

Here are the top five.

Number 5: The Best Friend’s Bed

We had been crazy horny all day but Gus’s siblings were home. That meant that I wasn’t allowed upstairs (hooray, high school rules) and that sex on the couch was out of the question.

We were coping with this and talking with his friends. We headed to one of his friend’s houses, which is when I got the brilliant idea of having sex in his friend’s bed.

We laid down on his friend’s bed and I could feel that this wasn’t going to go well.

I was right because his two friends came barging in and wouldn’t leave Gus alone.

Eventually, we shoved them out and barricaded the door so that we could have sex.

And it was some pretty awesome sex (I mean, it has to be to make the top five).

The reason it was so great is because of the idea that anyone could walk in or see what we were doing at any given moment.

And that’s always a thrill, no matter what age you are.

Number 4: The Family Camper

What makes this one so memorable is the circumstances behind it.

We were at a wedding.

His step sister was getting married and we had both been invited (me as the guest obviously).

The entire ceremony was great, she was beautiful, blah blah blah. All the things you have to say about a wedding.

What was really great is that this was the first time his parents let me sleep in the same bed as him.

Part of that was because there was nowhere else to sleep in the camper.

The other part was because they could feel if we tried to have sex because it was a camper.

Regardless, we got to the reception of the wedding and I found out that they had an open bar.

I was one week shy of turning 21.

And they weren’t checking IDs.

I asked Gus if he was okay driving and if I could drink.

He agreed.

Play ball.

At this point in my drinking career (because let’s be real, it’s a lifelong commitment that has to have time and energy spent), I didn’t have as much knowledge as I do now (being a certified bartender helps). So I was drinking Sex on the Beach (the irony is not lost on me) almost all night.

I had seven of them.

And that bartender just kept pouring more and more booze into the cup.

I remember dancing around the dance floor and feeling completely relaxed. I remember spinning, twirling, and kissing Gus. A lot.

To the point where the very drunk bride asked if we wanted a room.

When we finally decided to head out, I curled up in the car and knocked out for the car ride home.

Gus helped me change into my pajamas and he didn’t try to do anything, because I was intoxicated.

Hence why he has the nickname Good Guy Gus.

The next morning, however, he started to rub my back and trail his fingers down my sides.

I rustled up enough energy to have sex.

There was only one problem: his dick was too hard.

I didn’t know that was a thing but apparently, it is.

I tried. I really did.

But we ended up laughing and curling back up in bed.

Number 3: The Revenge

During college, I had copious amounts of roommates. I had a heroin addict, a sex maniac, a legitimately psychotic and my future best friend.

The sex maniac was the worst.

I’m all for having sex everywhere in the house (proven later in Number 1). But I try to respect spaces where other people live (or I at least clean up).

The sex maniac I lived with was also a slob.

I came home one day to find a stain on the carpet clearly from her getting laid.

It really grossed me out and made me really uncomfortable.

So I sought revenge.

The next time that Gus came down to visit, we had sex in every room of the apartment.

That included the kitchen, the living room, my bedroom, the bathroom, and her room.

I told her about it the day that I moved out.

Best revenge I could have had.

Number 2: The Walk In

Here is the one that will make most people cringe and judge.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

We were getting frisky in his bedroom even though his brothers were home (we eventually started bribing them so they wouldn’t say anything).

I wanted to try something new but didn’t know what I wanted to do.

And he was working his way to getting horny to have sex.

That’s when he said that he knew something we could use.

He left the room and came back with a dildo that had a dolphin used to stimulate the clit.

“Where the hell did you get that?”

“It’s my mom’s.”

“How... why... why do you know that exists?”

“I found it one day when my friends and I were goofing around.”

Wrong choice of words.

I was originally really freaked out by the idea of using a dildo, much less the one that his mom used.

But I was so horny that I stopped thinking about it.

Yes, my dear readers. I used his mother’s dildo.

And it was great.

After that, he was finally hard enough where we could have sex, so he crawled on top of me and we started having sex in missionary.

That’s when his six-year-old brother walked in.

“Gus, I need your help.”

Gus and I froze. We stared at each other and then he turned to look at his little brother.

“Freddy, can I help you in a minute?”

Freddy chirped out a “Sure!” and closed the door.

Gus started thrusting inside me again.

“Wait a minute. What if he really needs something?”

“I’ll just talk to him about whatever it is later.”

I never found out what Freddy needed. I do know that when Gus asked him what he saw, he had the best response.

“You two were wrestling.”

Yes, kid. Wrestling.

Number 1: Around the House

This is my all time favorite time we had sex because it lasted for over an hour.

We had agreed one day, in our sex-crazed delusion, that we would have sex in every room in his house.

We started in his room. Then to his parent’s room. The bathroom. The front room. The dining room. The living room.

And ended in the kitchen, because I wanted to have sex on the table.

While I never orgasmed at any point during that sex-a-palooza, it was the most adventurous we ever got and it made me really excited.

The Moral of This Story

My good guy was sweet, genuine, and a little hot-tempered. He often would get into physical brawls with his two brothers while I was there.

But he was still a sweet guy who gave me some of the best experiences I had in my life.

We had an apartment together, adopted two dogs together, and had full plans of getting married.

He got me through my miscarriage, deaths in the family, and awkward family parties.

We may not be together anymore but he gave me some of the best times of my life.

The good guy is the best person to experience, and there’s no denying that.

A Closing Message to Gus

You are the sweetest guy to have come into my life. I know I wasn’t the easiest to deal with but you helped me through high school, college, and into my adult life.

You and I essentially grew up together in our relationship which is a magical experience in itself.

I know you are probably still angry with me but I really do wish you nothing but the best.

And Gatsby says hi. It’s a lot of whining, but that’s what I imagine him saying.

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