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So as I go through my journey as a sugar baby and as a friend to some babies, I will always learn more so I may write several posts about one topic. I wrote one post already to give you the basics about salt or fake daddies (Filthy: "Salt Daddies and Fakes").
So one thing I noticed is that some guys will think the worst of women who are sugar babies. The thing is true daddies don't think that of babies so if you are talking to a potential daddy or your daddy and he says bad things about you or other babies or makes you feel bad about being a sugar baby, don't go any further with him.
Also, I've heard someone say they couldn't be a sugar daddy because he's a real man who believes in love. Some sugar daddies do believe in love—I say some because I'm unsure of how many believe in love. Plus real men are providers and yes even spoil and that's exactly what daddies do. So daddies are real men. I think where this started is people think sugar daddies can't get women unless they pay them. Daddies pay women because they want to help ladies out.
I also noticed that whenever a guy had a phone number on his profile or he sends his number immediately or almost immediately, it's usually a scam. I messaged some of these people and all of them have asked who I bank with or said something else fishy.
Again bank account information should never exchange hands. That's fake and a scam. PayPal, cash, and Cash App are safer. Never buy any kind of cards especially if he says it's to "build trust." Also don't give out your address until you can trust him. Once you trust him, you can host him. It doesn't mean he's cheap or fake if you host.
If he says an Uber or hotel comes out of your allowance, that's fine—it all depends on what you agreed on or how much he's giving you. If he had originally said that hotel and Uber will be separate from your allowance but then says otherwise, you may want to talk to him about it. If it keeps happening after you have the talk, then walk away.
Have your standards on the hotels and restaurants but don't be too crazy. Realize it's not always going to be $30-a-plate restaurants. There's no shame in going from a big price tag restaurant to something like Applebee's every so often as long as he pays for it.
If your arrangement was for no sex and then he pressures you for sex or cuts you off if you don't have sex, then he wasn't the guy for you or he was salt. A guy should not pressure you into having sex. You also shouldn't have to have sex to get paid because being paid for sex is illegal.
If you hear a daddy say, "I can't do that because I had a bad experience with that," look at what he's saying that about. A lot of daddies will say that about paying up front because they had a bad experience. That reason makes sense but not doing other things because they had a bad experience may not make as much sense.
He's also fake if he keeps rescheduling or making excuses for why he can't do things. I get it, people get busy and things get in the way. There are also sugar daddies out there who sit there and say they will do something then he doesn't. If that happens, call him out on it. If it keeps happening, it may be time to walk way.
If he talks about being nude, sex, or fetishes too soon or too much then that's a red flag. Yes, you can legally be paid to indulge a kink or to be naked around someone, but people shouldn't only talk about that or talk about that too soon.
Sugar daddies should never make you feel guilty about the financial side of things. He should realize that you're not a gold digger. He knew what he was getting into before he got into the arrangement.
I will continue to write about sugar as long as I learn more about this lifestyle.