For many women and men, cunnilingus is a bit intimidating. Men tend to wuss out, because they think it's not masculine. Women often wonder if they really know what they're doing, despite being proud vagina owners.
Its not really easy to navigate oral sex with women. I ought to know, I was born female, have had girlfriends tell me I'm good down there, and still have doubts about knowing what I'm doing.
Truthfully, if you're new to eating her out, you might want to know a little bit about how to give great oral sex. This is what I've picked up over the years — and what you need to know about cunnilingus in general.
First off, yes, you can have protected oral sex.
"Safety first" still applies to oral sex — and most people don't know that. If you meet a girl you don't know very well and you're eating her out, you are exposing yourself to the risk of STDs.
A good way to avoid catching something when you're going at it with a random girl is to use a dental dam. Don't have one on you? No problem. You can fashion one out of a flavored condom, if you have one on hand.
There are a lot of women who don't like being gone down on.
I know this, primarily because I'm agender and find it really fucking weird that I even have genitalia — and I really dislike its existence. So, I don't like men going downstairs. I've had exes of mine tell me that I'm not the first person with a vagina to ask them not to give head, either.
According to them, many women out there are pretty self-conscious about their vaginas. They worry they smell weird, look weird, or yes, even taste weird. So, always ask before you go down, and if you do go down, don't act grossed out.
You'd be shocked at how many women have bad experiences with men eating her out and acting like it's a horrible thing to do. That can be a confidence-shattering moment for women to experience. Don't be that person.
Now, let's get to the fun stuff and talk about foreplay technique.
A common mistake that a lot of men make is that they think proper oral sex technique is darting their tongue in and out of there, or slobbering on it. This does nothing but confuse girls, make them bored, or just gets them annoyed with you.
The best techniques involve teasing her, adding some foreplay, and grazing her labia with your tongue before you dive right in. She wants to be seduced, not to have some weirdo wiggling his tongue around her.
Most of the time, girls like it when you use your hands a bit before you get into oral sex. So, before you learn oral sex, learn to finger her. Use the sides of your fingers to stroke the sides of her labia. Use some good quality, flavorless lube, wet your fingers, and make her squirt.
If you keep up the foreplay, she'll be begging you to eat her out or penetrate her.
Lick the clitoris when you go down there, and have fun.
When push comes to shove, doing this — along with GENTLY sucking her clit — is what eating her out is supposed to be. Make sure that you listen to her noises and get a glimpse of what her facial expressions are to figure out if you need to go faster, slower, harder, or gentler.
A lot of women who are into oral sex also love it if you suck their clit and give some eye contact. However, if you're like me, you might end up getting lost in the moment, so don't feel too bad if you can't do eye contact when down there.
That being said, the porn-style oral sex where you're eating her out with long, slow laps? Not really that hot IRL. Get your face in there, and get into it.
If you're really into it, eat her booty like groceries, too.
You'd be amazed at how many women out there have never had anal-oral sex — and how many of them adore it. If you've been playing with her orally for a while, turn her over and have her lay on her stomach instead.
Grab her by the hips, and pull her booty towards your face. Use your forearm as a prop to get her ass up in the air, or get some sex furniture that props her up. Then, start licking.
While you're eating booty, use your two fingers and give her a G-spot massage while you're back there. It almost always will make a girl start riding the wave, which in turn will make you one of her favorite lovers of all time.
Listen to her.
Every girl is different when it comes to her sexual wants and needs. So, if you want to be good at eating her out, ask her what she enjoys before you go down there. Also, listen to her when you're going to town.
If you're with a girl who likes oral sex, she will probably be pretty upfront in telling you what she wants. If she says faster, go faster. If she's saying "OW!" then you might want to stop and find out what you did wrong.
If she's not saying anything other than "OH FUCK!" and gasping in a good way, then you're doing it right. She might also guide your head down, or pull you closer in. Accept the guiding and let her cum all over you.
Much like with guys, eating her out with enthusiasm is key.
Lastly, I can't stress this enough. Be enthusiastic about oral sex. Make her realize you want to go down there — and that you think it's hot AF. Otherwise, she'll probably wonder if you did it because you were supposed to, or because you wanted to.