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Please note, all names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.
I’ve never told anyone this. I’ve always been too ashamed, but maybe finally admitting to it will help. Maybe it’ll stop me thinking about it so much? I doubt it.
It happened the summer I turned 18. I’d passed my driving test a couple of weeks before and my parents had bought me a car for my birthday. I knew my dad hadn’t wanted to, he thought it was too early and that I wasn’t a safe driver yet, but mum convinced him.
The car wasn’t expensive, it was old, and it looked it, but I loved it. It was my first car, it belonged only to me. And I was loving driving too. It gave me such a sense of freedom. I could go anywhere I wanted to, whenever I desired. It made me feel like an adult.
It was the perfect time to start driving too. I’d just finished school forever and I had three long months before I moved to Manchester to start university. And it was such a beautiful summer. Each morning the sky was pure, unbroken blue and I couldn’t wait to jump into my car and head out into the world. Every day was an adventure.
Most days I took my friends places. Usually into town to go shopping and to sit in cafes and check out boys. That day, the day it happened, I was by myself though. I still don’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. Anyway, none of my friends had been free, so I’d driven into town by myself.
I parked in the multi-story car park in the centre of town. I still wasn’t very confident, and I didn’t like parking between cars, so I had to drive right up to the top floor where there were hardly any other cars and lots of open spaces.
In town, I wandered around the usual shops and I went to get a coffee. But I soon got bored by myself and the temperature was rising and it was starting to get sticky-hot so I headed back to the car. What I really wanted was to drive out into the country with my windows down and my stereo up and with the cooling wind in my hair.
And that’s when it happened. As I sat in my car I turned the engine on and then I wound the windows down and I turned my stereo up loud. I still don’t know how I did this. Maybe I was too focused on the music or the idea of driving in the country? I don’t know, but I mustn’t have been concentrating.
I put the car in reverse. I hit the accelerator, but I didn’t look behind me. I reversed my car out of the parking space and right across the lanes running down the middle of the car park and straight into the car parked behind me.
I hit it hard. I jolted in my seat as my car stopped dead and and there was this sickening, booming and crunching sound. My blood ran cold. I pulled my car forwards and turned the engine off and I jumped out as fast as I could. The back of my car didn't look too bad, a bit of paint was scraped off and a light was broken, but that was all. I breathed a silent prayer. But then I turned and looked at the car I’d hit.
It was a sports car. One of those small and delicate and expensive looking ones. The whole front of it was crumpled. It looked like a train had hit it. There was glass and bits of metal everywhere and I felt tears forming at the corners of my eyes.
My mind went into overdrive. I was in so much trouble. This would cost a fortune. My insurance would cover it, but then I’d never be able to afford insurance ever again. And my dad would be furious. He’d be so angry, but he’d be smug too, that he was right and that was even worse. Mum would be disappointed. She wouldn’t say anything, but I’d see it in her eyes. All my friends would laugh at me behind my back too. And I’d have my car taken from me. No more driving. No more escaping onto the open road. I started hyperventilating.
And that’s when I had the bad thought. My car was OK. It was drive-able. I could just get in it and pull away and who would ever know? My hands shook as I got back into my car. It took a couple of attempts to get the key in the ignition, but I slid it home and I took a breath and I was about to turn it, but I was too slow.
Another car came up the ramp and turned towards me. It stopped sharp. It pulled to the side and two young men climbed out. They came over and they inspected the damage I’d caused. I got out of my car and walked over to them.
The men gave me sympathetic looks, but one of them laughed and said it would cost me thousands. The other said the owner of the sports car was lucky, as if they hadn’t arrived I could have just driven away. He said it as a joke but I felt all the blood drain from my face. Panic was rising within me. I wasn’t thinking straight. I told the two of them I’d give them all the money in my purse if they’d let me go.
They laughed. They thought I was joking. I started crying and then they knew I was serious. One of them put his hands up and he told me no way.
Remember I was panicking, OK? I know what I did was wrong, in so many ways, but I wasn’t thinking properly. I blurted out that if they’d promise to let me go I’d show them my tits. One of them looked at me like I was mad, but the other seemed interested. He told me to get in the back of their car and to take my top off.
My legs trembled as I walked with them to their car. I got in the back and it was like it wasn’t me, it was like I was watching some other person do this. They both got in the front seats and they turned and looked at me. I closed my eyes. I pulled my t-shirt up and I pushed my bra down. I felt the cool air on my exposed skin. I kept my eyes closed but I could feel them looking at me.
One of the men told me to take my top off and I did. He said it and I just did it, as if I had no mind of my own. I pulled my t-shirt off over my head and then I reached behind myself and I unhooked my bra and I let it fall to the floor.
I opened my eyes and they were looking at me like they were examining a precious painting or a piece of valuable treasure. They were so intense and they were staring at me without a shred of embarrassment and it was disturbing but it made my heart beat faster too. I had an urge to put my hands over my chest and hide myself but I fought it.
Then one of them told me it wasn’t enough, and that I had to suck his dick too. I covered myself with my hands and I told him to fuck off. He laughed this horrible laugh and he told me my tits were great, but not worth thousands. He said I’d gone this far, so why not a little further?
He grinned at me and he opened his door and he stepped out and then he got into the back of the car with me. He knelt on the seat and he started to unbutton his jeans. I sat back and I watched him. I was so scared my heart was hammering in my chest and I felt dizzy. He tugged his jeans and his underwear down to his knees and then this long, thick cock bobbed up and out.
It has hard and big and it looked aggressive, like it was straining at me. This whole affair was shameful, and I was terrified in the back of that car, I felt exposed and vulnerable, but the part that most makes me shiver with horror now when I think back on it was the moment I realised I wanted to suck his cock.
I fell forwards onto my hands and I kissed that man’s prick. I licked it. I opened my mouth and I wrapped my lips around it and I sucked it without any encouragement. I enjoyed it. I started to move back and forth but he took hold of my head instead and he held me still and he started fucking my mouth. I usually hated it when boys did that but I loved it with him. It made me feel dirty. Like he was using me.
He fucked my face hard and fast. He wasn’t thinking of me, he was just taking what he wanted. He pushed his cock deep into my mouth and I struggled to breathe. He started pulling my hair too and it hurt but I didn’t stop him. I felt hot and wet between my legs and I wasn’t in my right mind and before I knew what I was doing I pushed my hand down the front of my yoga pants.
My knickers were already soaking wet and I spread myself with my fingers and started touching my clit. I started moaning as I sucked that man’s cock and I think that might have been what emboldened the other man, that or the sight of his friend’s prick in my mouth. I never heard him open his door, but I heard the one opening behind me and then I felt his hands on me. He took hold of the top of my yoga pants and he started pulling them down.
I was too far gone at this point. I should have stopped him but instead I lifted my bottom up and I wriggled to help him pull my trousers down. I felt my knickers come down too and then his hand was between my legs. He pushed a finger into my cunt and he fucked me with it. He pushed a second finger into me and I was still playing with myself and it felt wonderful and I moaned even louder around the cock in my mouth.
The boy behind me slid his fingers out of me and for a second I felt empty and disappointed, but then I felt the head of his cock press against me and I wanted it so badly. He probed for my hole and when he found it he slid himself into me and he stretched and filled me and it was glorious. He got hold of my hips and he started fucking me hard. It felt like he was doing it as fast as he could. As if he wanted to finish and get the hell out of there.
When I think back on it now I still can’t believe what I did. I’m really not that sort of girl. But I perched there on the back seat of their car on my hands and knees and I let them use me. I let one fuck my mouth as the other fucked my cunt. And I played with myself as they did it. They got faster and harder and I felt myself drooling around the cock in my mouth and I was struggling to breathe, but I didn’t care.
The one with his cock in my face came first. I could tell he was close by the noises he was making and then he started fucking my mouth frantically and then he groaned and he shoved his cock deep into my throat and it twitched hard and I felt the first spurt of his come erupt out of him.
I gagged and I coughed but he held my head and he kept coming and it filled my mouth and I swallowed it as I retched. He slid his cock out of me but he was still coming and he twisted my face up with a hand in my hair and he held me as he finished on me. Jets of his come spattered over my cheeks and nose over and over until the last few splashes dribbled across my open mouth and my tongue.
I’d never done anything so degrading and I loved it. I’d never seen this man before and I didn’t even know his name but I’d swallowed his come and I could feel it all over my face and it was too much and to my everlasting shame I came too. My whole body tensed and shook and I made so much noise I’m surprised one of the security guards didn’t come running.
The man behind me was still fucking me hard and it prolonged my orgasm and I came over and over and my vision started to blur. But then suddenly he slid his cock out of me and I felt his come spurting over my bottom and my back and it was so wonderfully filthy and my hand was still moving between my thighs and I thought I’d never stop coming. But as soon as the man had finished coating my naked bottom and my back with his spunk he started yanking me backwards out of the car.
I didn’t understand what was happening and I didn't struggle. The bastard pulled me off the back seat and he dropped me onto the hard, dusty concrete of the car park floor like I was an unwanted sack of fucking potatoes. Without a word or a smile or a loving touch both of the men jumped into the front of their car and I heard the engine start.
I climbed to my feet on shaking arms and I stumbled to my car as I pulled my knickers and trousers up. I got my key in the ignition and turned them. I pulled out and they were ahead of me and we drove fast and I don’t know how I didn’t crash again. It all happened in a mad rush though and then I was through the barrier and out into the blinding mid-day sun. I blinked and wiped at my face and it was sticky and I realised I was still covered in congealing come. I became aware of the slimy mess up my back and in my knickers.
I though the boys might pull over as I drove behind them and then we’d have a chance to talk. But they sped away and they took a different turning from me and I never saw them again.
For months I lived in terror that we’d been caught on CCTV and that I’d be arrested and shamed for what I'd done. But the stern knock on the door never came.
I’m not proud of it. I know what I did was wrong, and I burn with shame when I think about it. But I do think about it, often, especially when I’m alone in bed at night. They way they used me like a whore. The feel of them both fucking me, their come on my face and my body and in my mouth. I’ve never done anything so bad and so good.