Imagine it. It's late at night. You're curled up in your significant other's arms. Things turn from innocent to steamy. From steamy to hot and heavy. And then it turns to....what? Do you......have sex? F*ck? Bang?
In today's world, modern society views sex as routine and expected. It is more or less accepted that people partake in it at younger and younger ages these days. Birth control and other contraceptive methods are being used to prevent unexpected pregnancies.
It is a great thing that people are having sex. Safe sex prevents transmission of diseases and helps stem people from having children when they are not ready. But while children and teens learn about sex and all of its acts, they only seem to learn about the physical act of it alone.
Having gone through all kinds of sexual education classes myself, I can vouch for the fact that you are taught many things. I went to a private middle school, where I still remember being taught that sex before you are married was going to send you to hell. You were going to be damned for all of eternity, doomed to face the wrath of the fiery pits. In high school, while also private schools, I had to sit through class after class learning about the act itself. About the formation of a baby, possible diseases, and various forms of contraception. We had to listen as the instructors tried to drill abstinence into all our brains.
But even as all this was happening, lots of other things were happening. While in my second year of middle school, at the age of eleven, I caught classmates in all kinds of comprising acts. They were caught giving handjobs on the bus for field trips. Blowjobs under the stairs in the corner. During school dances, if their clothes had been off, they would have practically been having sex.
High school got worse. It was there that you really knew things took off. Sex was everywhere you turned. It oozed off of everyone. And people were always acting upon it. You heard about it in conversations, texts, and pictures. It was always just an act that felt good.
With today's idea of sex, it seems like so many people are leaning away from sex being about love, and all about making yourself feel good. The one good thing my parents did right was to teach me that sex was something that should be saved for the person that you are in love with. Instead of going around and having sex with just anyone, I have always had the belief that you should 'make love' to the person you plan on being with.
With that in mind, I held onto my virginity. While so many people laughing about it, criticizing me about it, and even guys breaking up with me because I would not have sex with them, I held fast to my belief. I could, and would, only have sex once I found the right person. I needed to love that person. To trust that person.
I am so happy I waited, too. I valued my virginity. I felt as if it were a gift. Not everyone feels that way. Many people these days are driven solely on lust. Carnal impulses. But to me, I wanted to give my virginity to the person I planned on spending my life with.
Now that I have found that person, it has only deepened my belief about sex. You see for me, we do not have sex. We do not bang. We do not do any kind of other crazy terms for it. We make love. It is passionate, and crazy, and nowhere near vanilla. But making love does not mean you take it slow and gentle. It means through every touch, through every thrust, through every kiss and look, you show your partner how deep your love and respect is for them. It means you accept the possibility that there may be another product of your love - another life, because of your love.
I spent a whole different article talking about the importance of trust in sex. That no matter who your partner is, no matter what, you need to have trust in them. Sex is a very complicated thing. It has so many layers. It is complex.
A lot of people are completely fine with having non committed sex. Some of those same people are fine with selling their bodies, or having sex with any person that shows an interest in them. That does not mean that they are bad people. But to them, sex is just an act. It feels good and they feel as if nothing can happen to them as long as they are careful. But so many things can happen. So many outcomes can come about. This is where many unwanted pregnancies occur. This is also where so many children are abandoned or abused.
I am by no means condemning or judging those that have sex just for the act. Instead, it is more of a thought of reflection. Why is it that I put so much value into what sex means for me, whereas many others do not? Why do others not view sex the same way? Nobody is wrong. Nobody is right. Unlike what many would say, there is no correct answer. Only differences in opinion.
So I guess the verdict is still out. Is making love or lovemaking a thing of the past? Is it outdated and antiquated? Or are there still a vast majority that feel sex is more than just the physical aspect of it? Are there still more than just a handful that would rather deepen their relationship through sex, versus have sex just to please yourself?