Door Number One
Welcome to the world of the birds and the bees.
So . . . there is this thing . . . it's eating me up inside. Ah. Man. It's just so tempting. I mean, just look at it! Five inches, and if I want . . . maybe eight? Just thinking about where it would fit and how the hell can it fit . . . I feel this electricity sparking from somewhere deep in this man-cave I call my gut.
I want to buy it . . . oh, dammit. I bought it already! Fuck! Wasn't supposed to do that . . . yet.
A dildo. My very own, first, dildo. My dick-stick. Oh my lord.
I didn't forget the lube! So that's good. But . . . now that I've got one, how the hell do I use it? Prepping!—One finger up south? Two? . . . Three? I can barely get past the first half-inch of my finger!
Hah . . . this is why being a single virgin sucks.
Well . . . it's not all bad. Think about it . . . the lucky one who'll get to have me withering like a whiny bitch in heat will be happy to devour me! Least I hope so!
But for now, I've got to figure out how to get this firm, little-big dick-thingymajiggie in my bunghole so I can experience that ecstasy everyone talks about having. Surely there's bound to be a wow moment, where instead of an awkward, slow burn, it's a sort of pleasant Damn, that feels kinda good.
My boyfriend, Mr. No-Name who does ASMR, will gladly aid me in getting the biggest boner while I try to relax and open fucking wide.
The other night, I had to force myself away from the sex toy sites . . . Man, are those things addicting . . . I could be on there for hours! I stopped myself from buying something else. There's one good thing about lurking on these mysterious sites . . . I undoubtedly end up horny in about fifteen minutes after thinking up all kinds of ways I could use different products.
There's this vibrating cock-ring! Oh, jeez. I imagine myself cumming in less than five minutes. Maybe I'm just a really sensitive guy, but I see it as a really good weapon. Being that I don't have any partner or sexual partner, that is, the majority of the products I can't use or fully enjoy just by using them alone.
What do I do about my kinks? Do I have to wait for my knight in shining armor? Uh, hello? My dick will probably lose all interest if I do that.
I want to do the candle-wax thing. I want to be tied up. Lock and restrain me in hand-cuffs and call me a bad boy for calling you by your first name—I don't know and I don't care, but this shit is on my bucket list and it's going to happen someday.
Eager, aren't I? Of course I am! Sex—any kind of it—is extremely nerve-racking, but wholeheartedly exciting! Though, maybe this depends on the person, but it's more enjoyable if you can experience doing it with another person, right? There's a reason why I feel so empty and alone, and it's not just because there's nothing up there yet! I'm still trying . . . it just takes some practice.
Practice makes perfect.
Doesn't that sound kind of weird in regards to sex? No? I'm overthinking it? Yeah—just stick it in me. Ow! I didn't mean it! And this is why I bought the lube. Yep, just gonna dab a shit-ton of that on the tip of my fingers and—ooh!
Two fingers went in so easily! That's the first time that happened!
Happy masturbating!
About the Creator
Tucker Rodriguez
I'm a writer who enjoys the nightly prowls of a lost soul looking for a mate to "mate" with. But that's not all I write about. I enjoy drama and suspense. Aside from writing, I love to Netflix and chill and play video games.
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