Does Size Matter?

Does size matter? It’s a question that I am asked more often by straight guys than anything else. After they ask, they always want to show off what they’re packing, either via picture or in real life. If they are told that they don’t have the biggest one around, they freak out and ask how they compensate for their shortcomings. The answer is as simple as it is complex for them; most of the time the girls that they are dating will confide that the advice given fell on deaf ears.

Why do these men want an opinion of someone they would (allegedly) never want to have be naked with? Outside of the very real possibility that sexuality is more fluid than humans care to admit, there is my reputation of bluntness. Also, there is a theory that men want to spread their seed around. That used to mean sleeping with as many partners as possible (it still does) but technology has changed things and now many men want to show their junk off to potential mates to prove their manliness. Don’t believe me? Ask anyone who likes penis how often their inboxes are filled with unsolicited dick pics. Follow that up with a question about what happened if they turned the gentleman down for any reason. It’s not pretty.

Why the obsession with size, especially if it’s the “motion of the ocean” that counts? The truth of the matter is that a combination of size and technique is what leads to a more pleasurable experience in bed or wherever you have sex. Think about it this way; a slider is good, but you need a few to fill up. With a hamburger, it big and juicy and usually only one does the job. That analogy can be expanded, but the point has been made.

So what can be done to help improve the chances of a man with a smaller member getting laid? First, look for someone who doesn’t mind that particular issue. Also, learn to embrace foreplay. How many times have I heard women complaining that their man expects a blow job but won’t give her some good tongue action? That is one way a man can ensure word spreads about his skills, and line up multiple partners, if that is what he wants.

Be honest about your intentions. In the gay world, we ask up front what the intention is. Once we have the answer, we adjust how we are talking to the person. It seems in the heterosexual world, there is nothing quite like that. Everybody wants to settle down and have a long-term relationship, until they don’t. A straight guy being honest that he only wants to get laid will get farther than a man who says that he wants to settle down. What does that have to do with size? Nothing, but if the goal is to fuck, then honesty is the best policy. Women have the same sex drive as men, they want it too but they hate being lied to. Be respectful of a potential lover.

Respect is a big indicator of what kind of lover a man will be. There was a guy, we’ll call him DB, who presented himself as a good, straight man. Husband material. He was a friend of mine. One night we talked about what we wanted in partners. He expected his wife to put out whenever he wanted and to blow him when he ordered her to. Not asked, ordered. When he knocked her up, it would be her job to find him another female to have sex with for the duration of the pregnancy. Now this guy had a decent sized dick, and was attractive, but he hadn’t been laid in more than two years. Why? He showed no respect for the women he went after. The advice to tone down his rhetoric fell on deaf ears until one night, he tried the respectful thing with me and we ended up in bed. After that, he showed the lady he was interested in some respect and they have been together for nearly three years now. And yes, despite his protestations that he would never eat a woman out, he does go downtown. Ah, to be the gay friend everyone confides in.

While many take the stance that bigger is better, as mentioned above, there are some who prefer guys that won’t tear them in half. It’s all about personal preference. To emphasize again, though, if a man is insecure about himself, they should not go all macho and act like theirs is the biggest ever. Rather, practice technique and don’t be afraid to perform oral. Also, don’t send unsolicited dick pics to people. Size matters, but so do manners!