Do Body Stereotypes Define Sexuality?

Don't confuse stereotyping with the reality of whether a woman's body speaks to her sexuality.

Photo by Cory Lampkin

Photo by Cory Lampkin

I'll bet you've spent a lot of time looking at women's bodies, and will continue to do so. Every woman has a unique personality, but some personalities have been found to correlate to aspects of the body. Stereotyping is generally a bad idea, but it is best to understand the perception of stereotypes if we are ever to eliminate them. 

Women come in all sizes and shapes, and their personalities are just as varied as their bodies. Psychological tests have proved that much of a woman's personality is shaped by her shape. Hefty girls don't think, feel or make love the same way slender girls do, and you can't seduce both types using the same techniques either. Every woman is different holistically but that does not prevent a great deal of us sharing physical and mental attributes. 

Small Breasts

Photo by Mark Carolan

Photo by Mark Carolan

Researchers have found that small-breasted women are more aroused by having their breasts fondled than their more amply endowed peers. This fact is explained by realizing that all their lives small-breasted women's chests have often been ignored. Show them some respect and you get rewarded. Science has another theory about the stronger connection between the erogenous zones and their proximity to particular nerves in a woman body.

Men who find small breasts worthy of a lot of attention, find this is a new experience for small breasted women. She finds it unexpected, and very arousing. In fact there is evidence that some small-breasted women experience orgasm from merely having their breasts stroked, fondled and kissed. So irrespective of the truth of this stereotype, my best advice for men is to pay attention to all breasts, small, medium and large.

Big Breasts

Photo by Matthew Comer

Photo by Matthew Comer

On the other hand, many big breasts tend to get a lot of attention. The man who spends his time caressing other parts of her body will find a more welcoming response. It is true that women who have big breasts know it. So it shouldn't come as a great surprise that they appreciate men paying attention elsewhere as well.

Beautiful Women

Beautiful Women

I'm sure that almost every man has dreamed of seducing a really beautiful woman, and that dream is renewed every time we see such a woman, but when we really need a woman, and seriously try to seduce one, we usually go for one who is somewhat more within our bandwidth, than we imagined in our fantasy. The reason for this is that most beautiful women seem to be unapproachable, either frigid. Either way, most men are reluctant to try seducing one of them.

I am sure it wouldn't take much to find a psychiatrist to stereotype incidence of frigidity, promiscuity and using one's body to attain whatever one desires is much higher among beautiful women than less beautiful women. Not so sure this is a stereotype or good strategy. Use what you got. Men do it all the time. Turn the tables on them.

Men Who Pursue Beautiful Women

Men Who Pursue Beautiful Women

Men who ask a beautiful woman out tend to be very aggressive and quite selfish. Such a man is willing to do what ever it takes. They will take the beauty to the best places, spend lots of money on her, but he expects something in return. It never occurs to him that a beautiful woman needs love and affection. Here the stereotypical perception of beautiful women is essentially wrong. Beautiful women don't all expect beautiful things. They want the same thing all women want; an authentic relationship with a good guy. It just seems to us to be real tough to find that guy.

A beautiful friend of mine summed up this view the other day. "When a man looks at me his first thought is never, bet she'd be interesting to talk to, or she looks like she'd be a lot of fun, it's always, boy I'd like to get her in bed! But, the more they want to talk, the more I want to ultimately seduce them."

Stereotypes Don't Work

Stereotypes Don't Work

Most men have preconceived notions about the way beautiful women feel, they also have preconceived beliefs about the way other women's looks and body types. Take for instance heavy set women, athletic muscular women or very tall women. In almost every case the stereotype is a poor indication of actual personality. 

There are probably more heavy set women in the United States than any other physical type. One overweight friend of mine, also a party girl, lived in the rural community where I grew up and learned about life and love. She was called Crazy June because she'd do anything for a laugh. If anybody threw a party they made sure that June was there, because a party just wasn't a party without June.

At the end of most parties June was wearing her bra around her waist, outside of her sweater and bouncing around and up and down, but saying 'no' to a half dozen guys begging to take her home. I was sure that Crazy June would be even crazier in the back seat of a car, but June wasn't interested. She knew that she wasn't really a good time party girl and wasn't interested in a guy who treated her as if she was. She just pretended to be that way.

At that time, I couldn't understand how she could seem so hot and ready while we were playing games and then turn it off the minute things got serious. But as I got older I realized she was a real romantic. She read a lot of love stories and poetry. She eventually became a writer and still loves poetry. That was the real June.

Skinny Women

Photo by Aaron Feaver

Photo by Aaron Feaver

Although the stereotype is slightly accurate than that of the heavy woman, slim women have a reputation for being shy, intellectual and emotionally detached. Some psychological tests have proved that slender girls are more introverted than heavy or average sized girls, and that their average intelligence is higher than that of the other two groups. But these researcher have been blasted for bias.

However, these tests do not indicate that slender women are any less emotional than any other women. In fact slender girls have the least self control; are not as responsible or self-sufficient as the other two types, according to the same research. They put up a front of cold detachment to protect themselves from these weaknesses. Parents of a slender little girl may treat her as if she is far more fragile. The slender girl may be overprotected making it difficult to develop a healthy self-confidence. Since she hasn't the self-confidence to feel she can hold the interest and gain the love of a man who gets to know her, she finds it easier to remain emotionally detached than to take the chance of finding that her fears were justified. Once again most of this turns out to be inappropriate stereotyping. I have a friend who never dates anything but slender women. He swears he'd never think of settling down with anyone but a slender girl.

I asked my friend Tony how he goes about seducing all those wispy girls, and he said, "It's simple. I approach the girl slow and easy, steering the conversation away from sex, romance or anything that might make her uncomfortable. I match her cool reserve until I learn what she's good at then I become her captive audience while she tells me all about it. Like last week I met this girl who's a real horse nut. Her whole life is horses. she knows all about them, and is a good rider. I told her I've always envied people who could ride, but I'm scared to death of horses, even though I'd love to learn to ride.

"So what happened?' I asked. "Well, last Sunday she gave me a riding lesson, and I didn't learn a thing. It looks like she'll have to give me a lot of lessons before I learn to ride, and I'll make damn sure I never get as good as she is. This Sunday she's coming to my place to learn to shoot pool, and I already know that she's going to have more natural shooting ability than any beginner I've ever seen. You see. I build up her confidence a little at a time, and pretty soon she'll be ready to see how good she is at making love." Nothing Tony said is not applicable to all women. Simple advice; Pay attention to our interests and we will pay attention to yours.

Medium Built Women

Medium Built Women

The medium built women don't even have a stereotype image they are expected to live up to, but every woman has a few physical characteristics that will give you some clues about how to seduce her. Every woman has some feature that she's proud of and another feature she's isn't entirely happy with. If you watch her carefully, and listen carefully she'll reveal these features.

For example, a girl with long lustrous hair who is proud of it will touch it often to make sure every hair is in place. Her hair will also be kept extra clean and show evidence of frequent brushing. A girl who is ashamed of her nose will probably refer to it often in statements. If she feels her eyes are her best feature she'll take great pains with her make-up to accent them. Few women feel that both their legs and/or breasts are really good sexy features. Usually a girl accents her top or her bottom, but rarely both. A girl who feels that her breasts are her points of interest will wear tight sweaters or low cut blouses. She will downplay her legs by wearing pants, or full skirts and plain stockings. If you let this girl know you appreciate her breasts but go wild at the sight and feel of those wonderful legs, you'll probably find a warm welcome where they meet.

Naturally, just the opposite approach is necessary for a girl who wears plain, high-necked blouses and hangs out a lot of leg. Appreciate her legs, but eat up those little breasts. She'll love it, and you. 

There is an old saying that variety is the spice of life, and although I suspect it was coined by a bisexual, it is true for most women. A woman who has the opportunity to choose between a man who treats her the same way most other men have treated her, and a man who treats her in a totally different way, is sure to find the latter more appealing and exciting.

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