Derriére Extraordinaire

I think the double standards men face are pretty sickening. Think about it, if I strolled in a park full of kids and sat down by myself, some parents would look at me and think, "What the hell is he doing here without a kid, he's probably a pedophile!" If a woman did the exact same, people wouldn't question it. A bisexual man is gay. A bisexual woman is a plus. If a man shows his feelings, then he could be referred to as a weak pussy. Well, I'm Mars Brown and I can give two bleeps about double standards. I'm emotional, I love to communicate, I can curl up on the couch and watch a rom-com and enjoy the fuck out it, with some Talenti Pistachio Gelato and not feel an ounce of "gay" coming over me. In fact, I feel like being who you are at all times makes you more manly than a "Macho in the streets, but a lame in the crib (didnt want to say sheets)." If I saw a guy that's handsome, I wouldn't say "Damn, he's handsome!" But if someone said "Damn, that guy is ugly," I would honestly say, "No I think he's a handsome dude." I'm secure with myself, a lot of men aren't. My security within myself led me to write this article on "Derriére Extraordinaires." What's that? It's what I call women that like to eat butt. You're thinking "Wait, I thought this was about men?" It is! So sit back, grab a drink. Shut the hell up and enjoy.

So what's wrong with men enjoying certain pleasures in life? Me, I happen to be a man that enjoys getting his groceries ate a.k.a. "booty ate, groceries ate, and my personal favorite serving these hoes with delectable derriére." Now, I might lose a few homies on this one and truthfully I can give two fucks; Exit stage left. Anywho, I remember the first time the magic happened. My girlfriend at the time, was living in Florida, I was in New York and she came to visit. She started off by giving me head, occasionally going down to my testicles. She was sucking my testicles so hard, the pain was unbearable, it made me lift my midsection up in the air. She moved down to my Perineum (that's the area between your scrotum and anus... Now you've learned something new. You should thank me.) She licked my perineum a few times and I thought "whoa, that felt nice. That's definitely a first." She grabbed my legs and looked at me with this devilish look and said "just chill, let me try something," she put my legs on her shoulders and started going to town on my butthole. She licked me like I had chocolate surrounding my anus. I wanted to tell her to stop but the words were lost somewhere in between my moans and satisfaction. So I thought whatever, let me just let her do this. She was really eating my derriére, like for the first time in my life, I can see what she feels when I eat hers. We had sex afterwards and the whole time while I'm in her, I felt the wetness between my cheeks. The cold air blowing added a little extra feeling to it as well. Afterwards, she went to sleep and I sat at the edge of the bed thinking, "Am I gay, did I really just let someone play in my booty with their tongue, I loved it though. Is this something I can discuss with someone else?" So I called my brother and asked him if he ever had his anus licked clean. He replied, "Nah son, that's mad gay"[sic]. His reply made me feel like my heart sunk down past my stomach and laid next to my balls. I was facing the end of the world, but I told him anyway; "Yo, Kelly just ate my ass and I liked it. I don't know how I feel right now, but I really need to think about my life." My girlfriend didn't know she messed my whole world up. I was outside afraid to look people in their faces the next day. We had sex again, and she asked "You liked when I ate your butt? You want me to do it again?" I told her I didn't know how I felt about it, so I would like to experience it again. Knowing damn well I wanted her to do it again. I couldn't wait, I asked her would it be easier if I bent over or should I just rest my legs on your shoulders again? The magic happened and this time, I came to terms with it. You know what, I like this. If this crap makes me gay and I have no attraction to men, then middle finger to the world. Fast forward to 2017, I've experienced more lickings. I've had a few say, "Oh, someone ate your butt before? Oh my god that is nasty. I think I want to try it though," and then I've had "I don't want to have sex with you, I just want to eat your butt." I kinda want to end this article here, but I can't without telling you about a girl we'll call "Africa." You have some women that are great at licking and sucking balls better than they suck penis. You have some that are excellent at sucking penis, but that damn girl Africa was great at all three. Africa would bend you over and suck your joint from the back and lick your butthole at the same time. I don't know how she did it, but she did. I used to literally feel her tongue cleaning out my butthole. That just made me nauseous, but it's the truth. The greatest thing about Africa, you can tell she really enjoyed it. There was times where I would go over to her place like a crackhead looking for a hit. If she wasn't in the mood to do it, I would leave pouting and angry as hell. I would never ask "Hey, do you mind eating my butt?" I would just kind of hint towards it like, "When you eat booty, do you ever think about jacking me off while doing it?" She would reply basically letting me know she always do that and I would act like I don't remember and hit her with, "That shit would probably feel good as hell if I came while you do that." It worked like a charm.

The crazy thing about being a man that likes this kind of thing, is it doesn't come around too often. Most women won't do it, but there's more women than you think that'll do it. I test them, I lift up my midsection up and see if they take the bait. 9 times out of 10 they don't, but that's still the 9 times out of 10. One of them will take the bait and I'll take 10% over zero anyday. Recently, I tried to talk my brother into letting his woman do it and he's still against it. I felt bad for him, he really doesn't know what he's missing. Truthfully, if I'm dating someone and we're talking about long term, that shit is almost a requirement for me to take you serious; you have to at least try it once. That's kinda fucked up, but it is what it is. I walk around with my head held high, knowing a few of these guys that'll probably look at me funny for liking this, is probably kissing the girl that had her tongue in places dudes wouldn't dare put their faces. That's a little spin on Diddy's lyrics, but it's true. Hello, I'm Mars Brown and one of the greatest pleasures in life to me, is receiving a few licks to the anus.

With warm regards and always true, staying down to Mars and putting up 2 (Peace).

IG @Uno.Mars