DDLG

DDLG is a subgroup of the BDSM community. I am sure that you are probably familiar with the movie and book Fifty Shades of Grey, in which, we can get a small glimpse into what BDSM is really all about. Although DDLG does fall under the category of BDSM, a DDLG relationship and a BDSM relationship have stark differences. Below, I would like to examine some of the main differences along with a few of their very critical similarities in order to shed more light on what can be considered a very taboo subject.

I believe it is very important to start this discussion off with a brief definition of both of these acronyms. I have taken to Urban Dictionary for the top definitions of these two lifestyles and here is what they had to say:

BDSM: An overlapping abbreviation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), and Sadism and Masochism (SM).DDLG: Daddy Dom/Little Girl. DDLG, or DD/LG, is a relationship in which one person is the caregiver or "Daddy" and the other is childlike. It is NOT a relationship between an actual father and daughter or any minor. This is a type of BDSM relationship that may or may not involve sex, but often involves play with childlike things, such as stuffed animals, bedtime stories, and spankings.

Right away, we can begin to notice a few main differences. One of the differences that I would like to point out is that DDLG can oftentimes purely be about the caregiving aspect and have absolutely no sexual intentions or actions taking place inside the relationship, while BDSM almost always involves some sort of sexual aspect. Many people live a DDLG lifestyle because they have a need to care for others or to be cared for. Many littles (the LG) use age regression as a way to cope with past childhood traumas. For example, some like to regress because they were forced to grow up too quickly and weren't able to truly experience their childhood, or they regress because they were abused growing up and are looking for the love and affection, that they did not receive from their parents as a child, to be shown to them by a caregiver. With this being said, there are also many couples who practice DDLG that do include sex and other sexual activities in their daily lives. It is purely up to each couple and what they want from this lifestyle.

Many people try to say that DDLG is people making pedophilia into a fetish. Please be assured that this is under no circumstances the case. DDLG is a lifestyle that is between two consenting adults. The term "Daddy" or "Mommy" that is used to refer to the caregivers is used because they are just that, caregivers. Just like our parents cared for us and watched out for us to make sure that we took care of ourselves and were happy and healthy, caregivers in a DDLG relationship care for their submissives, or littles. Right along with this are littles. Littles regress because it makes them feel safe, it helps them cope with things like stress, trauma, and many other reasons. They aren't fetishizing little kids. When a little and their caregiver incorporate sexual activities, they aren't fantasizing about having sex with their parents or imagining their partner as their parent, just as a lover that cares for them more than anything.

These two lifestyles also have several very crucial similarities. One of the most important—in my opinion—is the implementing of a safe word. A safe word is a word that is decided between partners and that, when used, will bring all current actions to a complete stop. This is crucial because it ensures the safety of all partners and ensures that no boundaries are crossed. If a partner does not heed the safe word, it is considered a non-consensual action and even abuse.

Another similarity is aftercare. Aftercare is also a very crucial part of both lifestyles if there are any sort of sexual activities. Urban Dictionary defines aftercare as: "The quiet period following a scene between the top (Dominant) and bottom (Submissive). It often includes talking, cuddling, and helping to gradually return them to the real world (for example, when roleplaying is used)." It is always important to check in with your partner after any sexual activity to make sure that they are all right and to discuss what just happened. It is a great time to find out what your partner liked or maybe what they didn't care for so much. A lack of aftercare can result in miscommunication, accidental overstepping of boundaries, a lack of closeness between the dominant and submissive, and many other things.

There are many other things that can be said about both the BDSM and DDLG lifestyles, but I'm going to wrap it up here. Hopefully this discussion helped to broaden your knowledge about both lifestyles and helped to inform you about a few of the ins and outs of them.