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Are you a workaholic trying to wade into the dating pool? To workaholics, it’s often a puzzle to know what led to the other—is it your dead personal life that ushered in a successful career or the other way round?
It stands to be reasoned that workaholics find their professional life more rewarding and fulfilling, and tasting success in their professional life gives them enough of a high that they deem relationships less important. The outside world may view this as a disorder, but to workaholics, pursuing their careers relentlessly is viewed as an attribute. Convincing them otherwise would only prove to be a bootless errand. It’s for this reason that we saw it fit to prepare this simple list of ten tips that workaholics can use to carve out a love life for themselves without compromising without wasting any of their precious time.
Date a Fellow Workaholic
Great minds think alike! Since both of you will be busy trying to do whatever it is that you do with your professional lives, neither party will waste each other’s time or act clingy.
Dating a fellow workaholic is also economical as you get to share your finances with someone who works as hard as you do. The fact that your significant other will be on the other side trying to create a living for both of you makes you feel like you’re financially supported and that there’s no one waiting to leech off your sweat. Money isn't everything, but it is something. If both partners are on equal ground, there will be much less to fight about.
Know What You Want
What is it that you want that makes you feel like you need to invite someone into your life? Are you looking for casual hook ups, casual dating, or someone you can commit to the rest of your life?
If you’re interested in commitments and relationships, then you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you have to spend some time on it. Relationships require work, and time, so you'll need to remove yourself from your career at times and focus your energy on someone other than yourself. Even if you’re lucky enough to find someone understanding, you’ll still have to make more time than just one dinner out a week. You have to be upfront about your work-ethics early on.
If it's just a fling you're looking for, be sure to make that clear from the get go as well. Should the date find that not satisfactory enough, then they are better off trying their luck elsewhere, where it can pay off in the long run.
Think, and Think Again
You’ve been alone all this time, why the sudden change of heart? Has your loneliness grown so big— bigger than the fear you once had about being trapped in a soul-cutting relationship? Does your privacy no longer mean anything to you?
If you’re only doing this for your phallus interest, then there are plenty of ways your blue balls can be attended to. Really think about why you want to start dating, aside from sex, before you jump into a relationship.Only bring someone else into the equation if you are willing make them a priority.
Who would you rather be—a needy lover who’s always available at their partner’s beck and call or an aloof workaholic with a life of their own and in direct control of every relationship they happen to be in? And asked to choose between the two, who’s more likely to wind up with more dates? Seeing your workaholic tendencies as a positive changes the perspective a bit.
View Yourself as the Price
Losing part of yourself as the price you pay for entering a relationship will make you pickier for sure, but when you do deem someone worthy of this price, it is for keeps. Time is money, so you are literally paying a price for spending time with this person rather than spending time at work. Put value in yourself and you will end up finding someone who sees the same value in you.
Keep Your Antennae Up
If you’ve decided that you’re open to dating and that no one is really going to convince you otherwise, it’s good that you let those around you know about it. You’ll never know who’s interested in going out with you—it could be your crush.
Try putting time aside for getting yourself out there. Have confidence in the things you have to offer and you’d be surprised by the number of people who think you’re the perfect match for their co-worker or friend, even under your workaholic conditions.
Think of anyone who refuses to date you as a person doing you a huge favor—that is, leaving you with the freedom to find yourself someone even better.
Stop Online Dating
Many "life coaches" advise workaholics to use online dating as a convenient substitute for meeting someone in real life. This is, perhaps, because it can be done at your office desk, during your work breaks, or even when your waiting for the bus.
But here’s the truth.
You spend a good chunk of your valuable time sending well-crafted messages to a number of potential dates, for only for a handful of them [if any] to respond. To a workaholic who’s only hurdle to getting a fine date is their work, internet dating can prove to consume a lot of precious time. Plus, it can make you lose your concentration at work as you patiently spent your entire afternoon gazing at your smartphone, waiting for that guy or gal you swiped right on to send you a message.
It’s for this reason that we recommend that you spend your spare time, no matter how little it is, talking to real life people.
Keep Your Standards High
There’s a lot of perks that comes with keeping your standards higher when you’re looking for a potential date if you’re a workaholic. It's true that with higher standards come higher risk of disappointment, but if you lower your standards you will likely end up unhappy. You don't need another reason to be stressed out. Your job is hard, and you spend a lot of time involved in it. By settling for less-than you may end up resenting your significant other instead of being inspired by them. They’ll make your relationship more satisfying, and in doing so, give you more reason to create time in your professional life to spend with them.
Try an Open Relationship
As an alternative to the aforementioned dating tips for workaholics, try getting into an open relationship or better, polyamorous relationship if you’re aiming for marriage. The romantic notion that monogamy works for everyone is just not accurate. By giving your partner—and yourself— the freedom to go out with whomever they want, you take off some of the pressure from the relationship. Say want you want about "open relationships" but it seems to me that it is those who allow their significant others to find satisfaction elsewhere are the ones who truly love each other. Love is selfless, right? Open your mind a bit and you mind be surprised how positively it impacts your relationship.
Stop Going on Dinner Dates
The fact that you’re reading through a listicle of dating tips for workaholic means that you somewhat consider yourself a workaholic. And chances are good, you make good money doing whatever it is that keeps you so busy, or you probably wouldn't keep doing it. Don’t waste your money on pointless dinner dates unless you want to.
This is particularly the case if you’re planning to do it to impress your partner. Dinner dates are a complete waste of time if you’re looking for a quick lay. Cut right to the chase. A good home-cooked meal, with an afternoon of making out on the couch can be much more efficient and enjoyable than any fancy night out.
Hire an Escort
This may be the most extreme piece of advice, but think about it for a minute. If you are truly that busy and not looking to have any sort of commitment, it may not be a terrible idea to consider an escort. This advice applies to both sexes. If your professional life has no room for commitments and relationships, an escort might come in handy.
Escorts can aid in companionship and sexual needs, without any of the negatives associated with a relationship. By paying someone the amount you could have made in an hour or two, you save yourself the trouble of dragging unnecessary baggage into your professional life. This might not be the intimacy most people dream of, but it’s the only form of intimacy that’s totally compatible with your life as a workaholic and which doesn’t demand that you change your status quo. Live and let live. Plus, it worked in Pretty Woman, right?