Creative Ways to Turn Your Man On

Let's face it, the plain-Jane domestician is no longer the woman a man craves. The demure housekeeper of yesteryear doesn't inflame a man any longer. Nevermore is the quickest way to a man's heart through his stomach; the no-nonsense Ms. knows it's through his ribs and pericardium.

The woman who truly excites a man beyond control, who causes him to palpitate, to moan, and to give up controlling interest in a family of six, is the sensual and self-possessed you. Here are a few hints to make you more sensuous and exciting. They are out-of-the-ordinary ones that you might flit right over or would never even think of. They’ll pry open his eyes, and maybe even his heart, to you, and reveal you as the uniquely stimulating woman you are.

Be Thoughtful and Helpful 

Sure. you've heard this before. This is because it is important. Everyone loves to be showered with tiny little attentions, silent favors, and warm soapy water. Here are a few suggestions that will demonstrate your caring in a playful, stimulating, and memorable manner. He will find it unique.

1. Turn off the lights.

2. Count his feet.

3. Plant a tree in his honor.

4. Ask about his work.

5. Stare at him without blinking.

6. See him.

7. Feel him.

8. Touch him.

9. Take his temperature when he feels sick...orally.

10. Feel him again.

11. Make a nickname for his member. The scarier the better.

12. Massage his butt.

13. Kiss him somewhere you never have.

14. Don't let go of his hand for two hours.

15. Rub his back while he checks his email.

16. Walk on his spine.

17. Whisper sports scores in his ears.

18. Scratch his back.

19. Bandage the scratches you made on his back.

20. Give him a pet name.

21. Bake him a birthday cake in the shape of your breasts.

22. Knit him a watchband.

23. Practice birth control.

24. Become very good.

25. Admire his retreads.

26. Compliment him profusely.

27. Buy him a new Porsche for Christmas.

28. Give him a lap dance for St. Valentine's Day.

29. Make him his favorite drink...for breakfast.

30. Feign nymphomania.

Be Daring

Let yourself go! Wax wild and adventurous. Unabashedly express your passions. Your whims. Your very sensual essence. Anything that takes place between at least one consenting adult can be construed as permissible. (Check the laws in your state.) These will drive him crazy with ravenous desire.

31. Buy new lingerie and make him rip it off you...with his teeth.

32. Talk dirty.

33. Linger on foreplay.

34. Attempt aftplay.

35. Let him hear you burp.

36. Do a shot off his stomach.

37. Lick his glasses off his face.

38. Set him aflame.

39. Try it by friction.

40. Apply pheromones in unusual places.

41. Wake him up with a blowjob.

42. Give him take-out orders.

43. Play cards with him.

44. Go fish.

45. Connect the freckles on his back with your fingernails.

46. Watch porn together.

47. Play naked Twister.

48. Undress him with your lips.

49. Send him nude Snapchats.

50. Mail your underwear to him.

51. Practice naked yoga.

52. Greet him at the door dressed only in dental floss.

Be Mysterious 

Nothing excites a man more than mystery, the unknown. Once a man has your number you become dull to him. Keep him wondering. Be inscrutable, enigmatic. Never let him fully know what you are doing: always act as though you do. Your mainstays are the unexpected, the unexplained, the unfathomable. Be cool and ignore his quizzical looks and protestations with the insouciance of a well-heeled welfare administrator. You are in control.

53. Yawn when he is talking about himself.

54. Keep him waiting...for everything.

55. Play with his hair.

56. Erect a house of cards on his groin.

57. Send him a lock of your hair.

58. Without his having to ask you, punch him in the stomach as hard as you authentically can.

59. Suck his fingers.

60. Order him lunch to his office anonymously.

61. Wear a pink wig to bed.

62. Cosplay as his favorite character.

63. Change your name in his iPhone.

64. Stroke his junk...with your feet.

65. Invest heavily in stocks and bondage.

66. Read his scalp. Augur a recession.

67. Meet at a hotel bar and pretend you do not him.

68. Hold your breath until he gives you a Ferrari.

69. Orgasm in the shower...make sure he hears you.

70. Beat him into submission.

71. Whip him.

72. Write him a smutty limerick. Send it to his mother. And his five best friends.

73. Swap orgasms for a night.