Crazy Dreams

So last night (or should I say this morning?) I had a very weird dream. Even though it is mostly a common dream for many people out there I still woke up bewildered. Questions arose—Why? What the F was I thinking...? I could partially control myself in this dream, does that mean it was a lucid dream and if so, why did I put myself into that situation?

The dream I had last night was about my Lecturer...

Now before I dwell into the weird and mental hallucinations that my brain conjures up on an hourly basis I must disclaim that if my lecturer is somehow reading this please stop! I will go into detail. For my readers, I am going to change the name of my lecturer. Later on, I will compile my research into this strange subject and hopefully give some people some answers.

Dream starts:

So we are at University having our usual one-to-one weekly lesson discussing why this composer did what he did and how can I incorporate this into my style of writing etc...

Let's call him....A (Not a PLL reference!)

A: "So how would you go about writing like him?"

Me: "I would take most of the inspiration from the bass line, the way he uses it, even though homophonic, still very interesting"

A: "So you would say he's got that bass..."

We both laugh as he puts his hand on my lap. He comes up with the most ridiculous jokes in the world.

I cough as to say this is awkward... "He has always made me laugh but he's never done that before," I think as my hands get sweaty and my legs shake uncontrollably. I try to control the situation by moving onto the next page of our analysis as he slowly analyses me in my playsuit. (I don't know why but in this dream I was wearing a red playsuit with black high heels with a full face of make-up compromised of red lipstick and mascara.)

So more time passes and it is mostly us joking around and him being a bit too hands on. I don't mind by this point, I think maybe he just needs a friend right now as we are pretty close as friends.

It's time for me to leave as the lesson has finished and as usual he gets up to open the door for me—he does this every week.

Instead though he doesn't open the door... He starts to say how its the last week of term and he won't see me for a while and if I want to catch up with him through the summer.

Me: "Yeah... That would be good, I may need help with some of my research and extra curricular stuff"

A: "Extra-curricular stuff? Like what?"

Me: "L....like other projects I'll be working on." I only stutter when I am nervous and he knows this.

He comes closer.

A:"Am I making you nervous?"

Me: " N..N..No....." As I stutter.

A: "HMMM...? Doesn't sound like a no?" He is closer this time with his hands on my hips slowly moving then towards my be-hind. He pins me against the wall of the room next to the door. I fall a little as my legs have gone numb from the shaking.

I am gasping for air, I keep thinking maybe he's doing this because he hasn't had it in a while? Is he drunk? Is he on drugs? What the heck is wrong with him? He's never done this before... He is usually a gentlemen who loves his family.

He plants a kiss on my neck and it sends shivers down my spine—but in a good way. I grab onto the back of his head and make his kiss me more, he moves his hand and grabs onto my butt and then I feel his happiness. Soon after my happiness comes around and I put one leg around him and pull him closer to me. He feels me all over and then that is when I gain control of this dream.

Myself in this dream realises that I am in a dream and pushes him off of me.

Me: "You know fine well Mr. that I have a boyfriend who I am in love with and have been with for two years."

A: "I am so sorry I just haven't had much connection with my wife lately and I don't know what came over me..."

Me: "Are you drunk...?"

A: "A little...Or maybe a lottle"

I laugh a little and he smiled.

Me: "Okay sober up and we can forget this happened okay? "

He nods his head looking very upset with himself.

He couldn't be more apologetic and then it somehow flashed forward into the summer when we did catch up and he is still sorry and we're back to being friends.

I then wake up!

Trust me, writing this has made me question my existence... I don't think I can ever look at him the same way again. It's just so weird, he is my friend and now I feel so embarrassed. On a positive note though I am happy that my conscious brain stopped my unconscious brain from dream cheating, hats off to inner and outer me.

Research

So as any person would do, I researched this and it turns out it isn't as bad as I thought it would be and explains my situation in a nutshell. According to Dreamforth.com, "To dream of a current or past teacher is an indication that you need some help and advice regarding a waking life situation. Your life has recently changed, and you need someone to talk with. Conversely, the teacher may be your subconscious seeking to remind you about past lessons. Consider what in your life has changed, and who you see as an authority figure or teacher."

This is true as my partner is moving away and I am having to move back in with my parents; I can't live in my partners parents house as they're selling it. Dreams, even though weird at times, can show how to deal with your woken self. I have learned that I need to push my partner into being the best goddamn employee at that place and that I need to go into a new chapter of my life—long distance relationship time.

If you like this please let me know, I have had very weird dreams throughout my life and would love to write more.

Peace out,

S.D