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I’m sure that there are a lot of people out there that agree with me that we all want what we can’t we can’t have; a sweaty kebab after a night out, the last piece of chocolate cake, for Shangela to have won the crown of All Stars 3.
I can only speak for myself when I say I spend 75 percent of my days thinking about having sex with people who are technically “straight.” Whether that be teachers, customers, bosses or colleagues or just any old Tom, Dick or Harry that you come across in your day to day life.
To really understand the situation that I was in you have to realise that I lived in a small-ish countryside village full of people that are very set in their ways and don’t do well with change or when something a bit different or out of the norm (for them) comes a long. When I tell people about this village, I say it’s very much like the village in the Simon Pegg and Nick Frost film Hot Fuzz. If you haven’t seen the film you won’t get the reference, but I’m sure you’ll get the gist of the story regardless.
One of my earliest memories of this fantasy coming true was when I’d just about finished high school, which means I would have been around 16 at the time. Around this age was when I really got myself a friendship group and we started drinking, having house parties, dabbling in a bit of recreational weed smoking. Naturally, I was friends with mostly girls, occasionally their boyfriends would come and hang out with us and that would be fun because they were these “straight” guys that I mentioned earlier.
He played rugby and football and like a lot of athletes, he was very attractive. He only lived a few doors down from me so when the girls, who were a year younger than me were still at school, we would hang out sometimes. I would pretend to be interested in football and whatever else it is that he would talk about.
Over the next few days we began to get closer and hung out very often, even without the girls there. I fancied him and he would give me that flirty banter back, so eventually I decided to take the plunge and the whole situation escalated.
The first time we fooled around is something that I am always going to remember. It was a very warm summer day and we had both just taking my dogs out for a walk with another mutual friend. It was one of those days where it could potentially have been too warm to be outside. So after the walk he decided that he was going to bring some PS3 games 'round to my house and we’d have a gaming sesh... Now anyone who has a PS3 or any console for that matter will know that whenever you put a game into the console, you’ve got to install it on the system which depending on the game can take quite a while. So while we waited for the game to load I thought I’d go get us a drink and some snacks. He had other ideas.
I came back into the living room after getting the snacks and drinks and he was no where to be seen. Went upstairs to see if he’d gone to the loo or something, he wasn’t in there. Then I went into my bedroom. He was under my duvet quilt hiding. He then sat himself up in bed and pulled out his phone that he’d downloaded a truth or dare app onto.
In that moment I wasn’t sure how he was expecting me to act, but inside I was raring to go but also extremely nervous. I tried my best to play along and act like this wasn’t a scenario that I’d played over and over again on my imaginary projector in my head.
My heart was pounding when we kissed for one of the first dares and I could feel his was too as he caressed my cheek. The breathing got very heavy and one thing lead to another and we did end up trying to have actual sex right there and then, which would have been my first proper time on my single bed in my box bedroom before the family gets home.
It did get progressively more intimate and more sexual and I did spend a lot of time between his peachy cheeks the whole summer that we were seeing each other and I can honestly say that I still get a bit of butterflies when I think back to those moments that we’d shared.
That is until the rest of the people in this little village found out what we’d been up to this whole time!