There's this guy I met on a dating app. We spoke briefly, but there was something about the way he looked—soft brown hair down to the nape of his neck, face as if it was sculpted out of stone by the finest artist and a charming personality which made his words seem like they were written by Shakespeare himself. My friends all told me that he wasn't anything special, that I was being stupid. But I couldn't help it.
You know those people that you're just madly in love with from afar, and even when they show interest in you back, you're so stupidly nervous that you decline even meeting them let alone sleeping with them. I presume it is out of fear that they will be disappointed instantly whether it be with your looks, personality or both. This guy, Jordan, was that guy to me. When I was single, I was just too scared to meet up with him, which is a change for me as I'm usually the most outgoing person—especially around men.
A few months later, I ended up getting into a relationship (yeah yeah, I know I need to stop) with a guy younger than me, Rogan. He was not my type one bit—small, slightly chubby with a large nose and a face scattered with freckles. But, he was so funny and there's nothing I enjoy more than someone who can make me chuckle like a madman. Anyway, I put Jordan to the back of my mind for a long, long time, but when I went back to University, he decided to pop back into my messages. How could I be expected to resist? Firstly it started more innocently than the rest of my scandalous endeavors. We were texting each other, mainly about our lives and political happenings (he did a politics degree), but on the odd occasion it strayed into more flirtatious topics. Soon after, we were sending naked pictures to each other and I was just so in love with his body—it made me want him so bad.
At this point, Rogan and I were having our issues. I feel like maybe it was my problem that these issues ensued—I became more distant as things steamed up between me and my other man. But, he wasn't a saint either. He was just too immature for me, and didn't give me any of my own space and I felt like I was suffocating under the wrath of a needy child.
A combination of being driven away by my relationship with Rogan and my overwhelming attraction toward Jordan, we ended up creating plans to meet up and have sex with each other. I couldn't invite him round to my house, as my University housemates didn't know about my adulterous ways. We ended up booking a hotel room, despite how cliche that was. I was petrified to meet him, and I even thought about backing out last minute, but I let the power of wanting and needing him so much to help me through.
The sex began pretty much as soon as we got into the room. The room wasn't anything to shout home about - a little box with a double bed. The sex on the other hand, was amazing. He didn't last the longest I've ever experienced, but that's never been a big issue for me. To me, its always about the passion and the feelings between the two people—that's what makes it special. We never really spoke that much afterward, but I didn't really mind.
That one I never regretted.