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Being Bisexual: The Black Sheep of the LGBTQ Community

My blood flows in lilac and pink, forming a beautiful purple.


Being bisexual in a world that deems anything different from the norm to be deviant, is an act of valiance in today’s society. The LGBTQ movement has come a long way since its inception in the late 80s.

In 1988, the community adopted the short acronym of LGBT which stood for a community that represents lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender individuals. However, it wasn’t until the late 90s where people who identified as LGBT gained recognition and "equal" respect.

The term "equal" here is lightly used as it is open to interpretation. What do we, as individuals, consider to be equal? More importantly, what do we yearn for when it comes to equality?

Is it equal representation in popular culture? Is it equal representation in the eyes of the beholder? Or perhaps equal representation all around?

As someone who openly identifies as bisexual, I feel very much like the black sheep of the community. I often hear comrades, gay or lesbian, asking me what is my default preference.

“If you could end up with anybody, boy or girl, who would you gravitate towards the most?”

But it’s not as bad as being a constant object of sexuality in numerous tv shows and movies and therefore objectified by straight male counterparts.

“Oh, to be a fly on that wall. I think two girls making out together is so hot.”

Is it, Cameron? Is it really?

I know that my fellow bisexual friends and colleagues can attest to the same residual feeling as we’re always told that there has to be a ‘preference’--and in that regard, it’s almost as if we don’t have a fixated identity and are rejected by the LGBTQ community.

For those who are not familiar with the terminology, a person who identifies as a bisexual is someone who is attracted to both males and females equally. It is the most diverse form of sexual orientation because some may identify as pansexual, queer or sexually fluid. Some prescribe to no labels at all to show a general desire for humans.

Tricky, right?

Not at all.

Despite all the nuance in the labels, the sheer agenda of the bi+community is simply worshipping, appreciating and loving all human beings, regardless of their sex.

In honor of National Coming Out Day, I’m here to say how honored I am to have been born bisexual. I love the idea that my mind understands sexuality to be a continuum and that it doesn’t restrict me from expressing myself in one way or another.

Sometimes, however, there are detractors of a beautiful epiphany. These are the people who have no conception of what it means to adore a product of an imperfect design.

So that’s why I’d like to shed some light on the proprietors of biphobia. Biphobia is prevalent and prompts the ugly stereotype of perceiving bisexuals as dishonest and promiscuous beings. There is no ‘preference’ when it comes to dating. I am not straight when I’m exclusive with a male and I am not lesbian when I am with a woman. I will not cheat on either or if we're committed to each other monogamously and I'm not committing adultery when I'm in an open relationship. 

As a bisexual, I feel very liberated to date from a pool of all kinds of beautiful souls. I feel sexy knowing I'm never going to limit myself to only get to know a certain 'type' of person. I feel happy to be a cotton-candy pink and lilac unicorn in a world full of stallions. 

It’s simple to plaster a label which possesses a very narrow definition, but thankfully bisexuality is like a puzzle; shaped like a unique piece to fit each individual. I’m simply bi—always and forever. 

Paulina Pachel
Paulina Pachel

Contrary to popular belief, my first name is not pronounced PAH-LAYNA. I am an intricate mix of flavors and you'll get a taste of them through my writing pieces; versatility and vulnerability go together like a fresh-baked croissant+coffee.

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Being Bisexual: The Black Sheep of the LGBTQ Community
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