Polyamory is, in layman's terms, many loves. That is the literal translation of the term, to say the least. Many people in this world are polyamorous and many more frown upon it because it is not between a single man and a single woman. It is put down because it is against biblical standards. Many places have shunned the idea or made it outright unlawful. It would seem that the only actual problem is that polyamory is against the “norm,” against the perception of the “average” person, and against what is socially acceptable.
In truth, someone being poly is as normal to those that are as it is to someone who breaths or walks or talks. It is a normal state of mind and being, and there is nothing at all wrong with it. But the question comes down to how to handle what would be common problems in a monogamous relationship. Being curious myself and thinking of finding a secondary partner, I had a few questions that needed to be answered. So I interviewed a few people on the subject and these are the results.
♥Can people have a long-lasting relationship with more than one person in the relationship?
Yes. This has also been proven many times over many years and even in many religions.
♥What are benefits of being in a poly relationship?
You’ve got a bigger support system than when you first started out. Sometimes people, no matter who you are, need a shoulder to cry on. You’ve got all this weight on your shoulders but it can help if you’re able to share it, split up the weight, things can get easier for not only you but them. If you’re in a poly cohabitation household for example and one person loses their job yes there is less money coming into the house but you’ve got two people there to help you get back on your feet, two other incomes possibly to help pay the bills and rent so there’s less chance of you being completely put out unlike how it is with one person where the second person can be (but not always) riding you and putting you down and you risk losing everything.
♥How to make polyamory work?
There are many things that can be done that are for certain if you are in a poly relationship and want it to work out. Here are some tips and tricks to help you along your way.
♥Communicate
- Always be honest with each other
- Make a night where everyone is in their own respective rooms/spaces
- Spend time with each person in the relationship separately
♥I get jealous easily, how do I deal with that?
As said by Franklin Veaux on his site MoreThanTwo.com: “Jealousy is not the problem; jealousy is the SYMPTOM of the problem.” This is where a big thing comes in no matter your relationship. Communicate. Talk about it. Fears are only irrational if you allow them to consume you and eat you up from the inside out. Find out why you are feeling this way and work together on how to rectify it. This is not taken care of overnight and will take time but it can be done.
♥What do you do if plans are made then broken last minute?
There are many things that people will do. Many will drop them immediately. Some will give another chance or two before dropping them. Some will just let it pass and just never drop them no matter how many times the plans have been broken. Before you drop someone, check this out.
Sometimes things happen last minute. At least give the person a chance to explain why. It could have been a family emergency. It could have been a once in a lifetime chance to go to a concert with someone that was not expected.
♥I’m poly with a couple people and one of them is with someone else but we never meet or even talk. Are we still poly?
No, this is actually an open relationship. One of the things you have to ask yourself is does this other person know? If not then it’s not even a true open relationship and that second person you’re with is cheating.
About the Author
January is a mom of three that simply adores her children. She had to stop working as a call agent to stay home full time as she lost her voice and it has yet to come back. She does live a BDSM lifestyle with her Dom. For updates on more writings you can follow her Twitter: @GreeneJanuary, Instagram: ddysbbybutterfly, or Snapchat: jamienightwind
Other works:
About the Creator
January Greene
Mom of 3 who loves writing, doing her nails with BellaHoot nail strips, saving $ with myEcon and having fun
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