Nicolette Heisler
Stories (4/0)
Courage
Downcast soul, what have you become? You've been wearing this mask for too long and now it is stuck on my face like a shitty song in my head. I'm living in this tragic, yet silver lining of a whirlwind feeling like a meal for wolves. But really, what am I here for? I do not want to follow the rules and I sure as hell do not want to be stuck in this cell. I feel like my whole body is wrapped with a python and leeches are on my heart. When will this ache stop and my exhausted body become full again? I don't know who I am anymore, must be the trauma, it's a start. I won't pick up the phone. I lie and say I'm not home. What kind of friend am I? They don't know I lay with demons. My heart is gold, my body is dead, my mind is racing. How am I even standing? If you knew the real me, would you run, would you fly with me? Locked in these handcuffs with the key just far enough for me to miss it.
By Nicolette Heisler6 years ago in Motivation
Afraid
Was I born wretched? Were we all born evil? Or were we born into evil? We are all of that and everything in between. We have the ability to be wretched, kind, amazing, evil. Damn. Thinking about it, I didn't realize how fucking terrible I would feel throughout my 23 years of living. You think it's all rainbows and sunshine? Here's a tip, it's NOT. Even when you conquer one obstacle, there's plenty more to follow. Sounds depressing, doesn't it? Well, it's depressing to try and completely be okay and joyous every single day and have life fuck you. You thought you were doing so well. You probably were doing well. Then you kind of just stop caring. I'm not saying being positive is a bad thing but you can't run from suffering—you CAN'T. I've been there, masking all of the things I was going through and I broke, man. It almost came to a point to where I wanted to end my life. I felt like a stuffed animal, with all of this repressed sadness and anger towards life. I was swallowing any outlet that I could find to feel better. I was in this dark, dark place so far deep I couldn't swim or move. Life is fucking crazy and its an every day battle and it's hard to accept it.
By Nicolette Heisler6 years ago in Psyche