Ask Wendy: Ordinary Objects

When I was young I did not look in the mirror and say, "Oh yes! When I am an adult I will invent a controversial sex toy"! Of course, not. I was doing what every other girl did. Chase boys, play house with girls, beat up those I felt attracted to, made out with my boyfriends, and played spin the bottle. Hummmmm, bottle?

Ah… yes, to be hormonal and young! That is what I was once and found erotic pleasure in ordinary objects. As a younger girl, the bathroom water spout beckoned me after a playdate with a dance friend showed me how to masturbate with the jets of her parent’s jacuzzi. The pleasure was so enormous that not having the jets at home made the water spout alluring. I straddled the spout having the lukewarm water tingle my clit. It felt so warm and luscious that I sat bestrode, until my first orgasm occurred. My legs were sore but shook, while my entire body responded with pleasure and delight. It was then I realized how much I loved having my vagina and clit played with and loved the feeling of having my body respond to the sensitivity between my legs.

As my hormones raged and I turned older, I found pleasure in ordinary objects. Yes the water spout was still there, but found other ordinary objects could fulfill my hormonal desires. I eyed my electric toothbrush with desire placing it onto my clit through my underwear and rubbed it gently as the soft bristles vibrated against the nerve endings on my clitoris. As I climbed higher and higher to climax, I looked into the mirror to see how my facial expressions took on an elated appearance. The closer I came to achieving an orgasm the more ethereal my skin, eyes, and lips looked to me. I loved watching myself shake and quiver as I sent by body into a riveting motion. I cleaned the toothbrush with warm soap and water but reserved it just for my exhilarating moments of desire.

As a married adult my husband and I used store bought objects for playtime with each other. Because I had started my sexuality using ordinary objects, I was captivated by other household items. One evening when I was vacuuming, my husband found me at the side of the bed with a vacuum cleaner between my legs. I wasn’t vacuuming in the typical sense. I had the vacuum stroking my clitoris and was having an orgasm. Not being aware that he was standing in the room rubbing his cock while watching, I reached a climax. Looking over at him, I just smiled. He wasn’t surprised because he knew how sexual I was and I had divulged the previous childhood masturbation stories, which made him hard anytime I told any of my previous sexual exploitations.

I migrated to consumable objects when I found myself cooking in the kitchen. I eyed a cucumber I had purchased the day before and peeled it. As I looked at the shape, size, and diameter I realized that I had never been with someone with a cock as massive, other than 20 years prior, when the guy was so huge, he hurt. As I used dripped olive oil on the peeled cucumber, I slowly rotated the cucumber around my pulsating pussy and around my clit. I pushed it ever so gently into my needy pussy and brought it back and forth, back and forth. It was hitting my g-spot and felt heavenly. I was in complete control of the motion.

With my other hand I rolled a kiwi onto to my clit. As I pulsated faster and faster with the peeled, oily cucumber into my love canal, I rolled the kiwi at a clown’s Olympian’s pace. I rushed and rushed and then I exploded with my ordinary objects. Who knew I could find joy in my house with these objects of desire. More was to cummmm.

We put a really nice hot tub off the back of our deck. Wow!!!! What a great gift for our son’s sports injuries. He never went into the tub… Pitty on him. My husband and I frequent it often whether it is cold, snowy, hot, rainy, or perfect out. There we are with his balls flailing and my clit fluttering in the waves. I have to say, I have never had back to back orgasms like that, but 15 orgasms later there I was panting. My beautiful DDs floating atop the water with my loving husband watching with a Cheshire Cat grin upon his puss.

So, it is no surprise that I invented TEDDY LOVE. I was told at a trade show by a sex therapist that the first 3 objects of desire are a Teddy Bears, T-shirts, and Towels. Ironically, I had never used any of these objects as an adolescent. Apparently, these are banal objects of adolescent desire, but I apparently had higher vision tastes. I mentioned in my former paragraphs, I used other sexually transformational objects. They were not as common as the 3 T’s. So it is ironic that I would invent TEDDY LOVE, given the fact that I used my Teddy Bear as a source of comfort, security, and love… Not sexual pleasure.

As a child I always had teddy bears and as an adult I had many teddy bears. One cold, New England night, after a long day skiing, I was cuddled up under blankets watching TV. My husband was upstairs putting our little one to bed. I was holding a teddy bear in my left arm and when I moved the bear’s nose hit my nipple. It got me really aroused and then I took the bear’s nose and placed it onto my clit. I started rubbing his nose, faster and faster. It was like I was holding someone’s head as they were going down on me. My husband must have radar because he walked down the stairs. We started playing with the bear together and it was really fun and erotic. I said to him that if the bear had a vibrator in his nose we could have really fun and unique product. And so… that is how TEDDY LOVE was born, from using ordinary objects and morphing them into objects of desire.

Oh yes, more to cummmmm. I have played with Christmas objects of desire and quite frankly I am lucky the ceramic holiday object that I shoved up me didn’t break and lacerate my vagina. It makes me ponder about the objects Emergency Physicians find up anus’ such as Richard Gere’s proverbial Gerbil. There is more on the horizon to be used and developed and I am certain that I will get many ideas as I walk around and in my home.

Learn more about TEDDY LOVE here.