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A Day in the Life of a Wife Led Marriage

Showing the benefits of a female dominated relationship.

By Alexa MartinezPublished 7 years ago 16 min read
9
A wife led marriage
Those who have read my articles before know that I advocate female-led relationships and the feminisation of husbands and boyfriends as the route to harmony and love. This article looks at a typical Saturday in my own marriage where I wear the trousers, metaphorically and sometimes physically and my husband doesn't. Our lifestyle is unusual by current standards but nevertheless results in an extremely loving, affectionate and harmonious relationship where arguments and discord have all but ceased. I would argue therefore this shows that my untypical lifestyle is a blueprint for the future. Here is an overview of a typical weekend day in our life with some of my thoughts thrown in.

The Weekend's Here

I wake as usual at around 8 AM on Saturday morning. My husband was still asleep and I let him stay sleeping. I don't, these days, usually refer to my husband as a husband but as my housewife. Nor do I use the male pronoun "he" except for external appearances. Although he remains and will always remain a male biologically, he has been feminised and away from the glare of society and family, he lives as any western girl would with all the attendant beauty regimes such as hair removal, beauty products and clothing. Yes that means skirts and dresses in the home.

As he sleeps I consider, as I often do, how his feminisation is an element of our lifestyle where I control all aspects of out marriage. Yes it was my idea to have a wife-led marriage and to feminise him and I do still have had to nudge him into various aspects of the new lifestyle but once there he settles into things well and even prefers it in the end. There is still much to change but there's no hurry and incremental change works so much better.

I have renamed him with a female name (Alice) and call him a girl to reinforce that femininity. His new femininity (we started around five years ago) drives a new behaviour in him and strips away those so-called masculine elements that society builds into males, undesirable elements such as aggression, control and superiority. He is now gentle, thoughtful and submissive. He had all these lovely traits anyway but bringing them out more through encouraging his femininity has turned him into a more respectful and beautiful person who is also happy to abdicate all responsibility to me as the lead in our marriage. If it were the other way round and it was he who was in charge no one would think it odd. So why is this so unusual that it's me, the woman in charge? And why shouldn't a male wear female clothing and take care of his appearance? Who said that only women can wear skirts?

I'll use the male pronoun for him in this article though to avoid confusion. It's not that he will ever become a real woman or is a transgender, it's that I've found that increasing his feminisation has made our live together truly remarkable for the both of us.

He eventually wakes about 15 minutes later and we snuggle up together. His nightie is satin and pink. He also has a short white cotton one, more of a baby-doll, and two longer white cotton ones for winter. Although he occasionally pushes back against my feminisation of him, he's told me that many of the changes I've made, such as nighties, feel so much nicer. I do prefer very girly clothing on him such as pretty pinks and whites as I think it's necessary to exaggerate the femininity to have the desired effect.

I tell him it's time to make us a cup of tea and to bring it up to bed. He jumps out of bed, curtsies gently and goes downstairs in his pretty pink nightie to make the tea for us. I love the look of the frill of the hem against his shaved legs. He returns to the bedroom with two mugs of tea, remembering to curtsy again before giving me my tea. He rarely forgets to curtsy these days. Why do I insist on him curtsying? It helps to cement the different status levels between us in the marriage. Of course, a curtsy is so much more feminine than a bow and also helps to enforce his new femininity as well.

The Day Ahead

A male looks better with a pretty feminine hairstyle

We hadn't made any real plans for the day, we both had a busy working week. He works from home in a less stressful job than me and I have to travel and deal with clients so my husband's status as "housewife" is appropriate. Today will be relatively relaxing although he has some cleaning and tidying to do as he didn't find time in the week. I only do housework if I'm in the mood, we've agreed it's his role. We decide to go to the cinema and although I liked the idea I wasn't too bothered with what we saw so I allow him to choose. He selected War for Planet of The Apes rather tentatively as he know it wouldn't have been my choice. However, despite what may seem like a one-way relationship, I'm not a tyrant and I want him to be happy too. So I tell him with a giggle he should be choosing something more feminine but I let it go at that knowing he'll enjoy the film. Being a girl doesn't mean him losing his taste for sci-fi and sport and I wouldn't want him to not do what he likes

Many people think that a wife-led marriage means the Lady of the House makes all the decisions and the submissive male is little more than a servant. This isn't true in real life, only on Fetish web sites. In a real wife-led marriage we have an agreement about how we want to run our relationship. He has accepted that he will be submissive and in general this suits him and makes his life more comfortable. Besides it wouldn't be fair on the Lady of the House who would have to think of everything. We're a married couple and outside of the Female-Led Relationship (FLR) lifestyle, everything else we do is the same as a normal vanilla marriage. I therefore think about his needs too as any spouse would do. His views are considered and I will use them to come to my final decision. Sometimes when I'm not bothered or don't feel like making a decision I let him decide knowing it will be a considered and thoughtful decision.

Our wife-led relationship has reduced disagreement and argument now that he has given over control to me. I do realise that at times he accepts somethings reluctantly but he doesn't generally protest as this comes with the agreement. We have a harmonious loving relationship which outweighs small concerns over decision making. Many familial disputes are over ridiculous unimportant things so if one of the couple makes those decisions then peace is the result. If he is really upset over something he knows he can bring it to me and we will discuss a solution. I don't want him unhappy or resentful.

If he ever feels uncomfortable about an aspect of my leadership or some new area of feminisation I've introduced then I will often explain to him that it's purely his lifetime of social conditioning kicking in and he needs to get over it. He understands my logic that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with him being subservient to me or being feminised. It's only a social construction.

A Typical Saturday Morning in a Wife-Led Marriage

Who says the man can't be the housewife in this picture?

I always shower first and then my husband Alice follows since it's his job to clean the shower and bathroom afterward, of course. I generally leave my nightwear and damp towel on the floor for him to clear up as he's doing that work anyway. After he's cleaned the bathroom he prepares our breakfast. He puts on a bra and his casual red cotton dress. I don't want him with a wig or breast inserts as we're going out later so it's not worth the trouble. Like many aspects of our relationship and his feminisation, some things appear odd on the face of it. Why would I insist he wear a bra for example? The answer is that it's like the curtsying, it's a symbol of a road he's now on and what could be more feminine than female underwear? So to reinforce his femininity it's important not to leave out the bits that aren't strictly necessary physically, otherwise it takes away the overall package and feeling that he has to live and act as a girl these days.

I like to watch the TV news on Saturday mornings and we eat breakfast on the sofa. We only have something light such as toast and coffee. He brings it to me on a tray, not forgetting to curtsy of course. If any women reading this have never been served breakfast with a curtsy from their man in a dress then they don't know what they are missing. It's pure pleasure. I allow him to sit on the sofa with me. It's a bit of a treat for him as after breakfast I don't really like him on the chairs and he has to sit on the floor at my feet if we take a break or watch something together. He sometimes discusses this with me as he doesn't fully understand the rule but his place is below me, physically and status-wise and this is another symbol. Humans need symbols in all walks of life and this is no different. I sometimes like to stroke his head as he's reading or watching TV so he knows there's love and affection in what I'm doing for him. I like him to massage my feet at times too so it's nice if he's already at my feet.

He stacks the dishwasher after breakfast as I read the newspaper on my iPhone. He wipes down the kitchen and cleans the kitchen floor. We have a laminate floor in the living/dining room and he sweeps up any dust around me.

Going Out in a Male Veneer

I buy the tickets to the cinema online and choose the early afternoon show as it's always less busy. Since we're going out he has to change out of his pretty dress and into male over-clothes. I still insist he wears a bra under his shirt and, although it isn't filled with breast inserts for now, the outline does show through it a little. He has asked many times that he be allowed to go out without a bra in the summer for this reason but I can't allow it. He used to have to wear women's panties but now I prefer nothing for reasons I'll come on to later. I do think the time is coming to try him in female trousers and a blouse when going out and see how that goes.

I explain to him I'm actually being kind in just insisting on the bra as what I'd prefer is that that he wear a dress to go out. This is true and if he wasn't so concerned, it's what I would prefer him to wear. I just don't accept the social norms. It's the people in general society who have a problem in not accepting a feminised male and a wife-dominated marriage in public. However, I know it worries him a lot so I don't enforce him having to wear a dress outside the house, at the moment. We'll try the female trousers idea and see how it goes.

To be honest, I get annoyed everytime he changes into male outer clothing to leave the house and it takes a while for me to clam down and relax when we're out. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much but I really don't like it. I guess it's taken a lot of work to get him to where he is and I don't want him sipping back to being a "typical male." I love him as he is now and want more.

He will have to accept it eventually and I have a plan to travel to somewhere more open-minded than an outer London suburb to start to get him used to wearing dresses and skirts outside the home with other people around. I do have a couple of other friends in relationships like ours and he has to wear dresses and skirts with them in their or our home. This is a good first stage but I have explained this to him it's only a stage to his fuller and more permanent feminisation. I will have to push him into it but I know he will accept it and enjoy it. Eventually.

How our wife-led marriage works in public places.

After the film, we go to a coffee bar. I give Alice my order then find seats for us. When he brings the drinks to me he makes only a little curtsy although I allow him to make a small dip with arms at his side rather than the fuller curtsy he performs at home. I can see he's still uncomfortable but he knows I'm being caring and kind in allowing the smaller curtsy. I would prefer a full curtsy as it shows the proper respect. I remind him that I'm less bothered about the small curtsy than the fact he is not wearing a skirt. This is still festering in my head. Although I say nothing today as I want to relax, I sometimes moan at him for not being in a pretty skirt when we're in a restaurant or bar. I don't like to see him in male trousers, it's like a dark storm cloud hanging around me. Luckily for him, today it's sunnier.

When we're out I will always continue to call him Alice or girl. The only concession I make to this is if we're with friends (those who don't know about our FLR) or family when I will use no name at all. We're not with friends today so when he brings the drinks and curtsies lightly I thank him and tells him he's a "good girl." Not too loudly but definitely at normal speaking volume as if it's a common occurrence, which I guess it is now in our case. He cringes and scans the room to see if anyone has noticed. I think because I now call him girl so naturally and then continue with my day-to-day conversation no one picks it up or possibly think they misheard.

Saturday Evening in a Wife-led Marriage

My husband is a great 50's style housewife

Once back at home he immediately shoots upstairs to change into his new flowery summer skirt and white top. He knows only too well that's what I expect. Sometimes he dithers if there is shopping to put away for example. This is always met with a thunderous face and folded arms and he'll be told to change into a skirt or dress in no uncertain terms. This dithering about him changing into a skirt really annoys me. Today he remembers. No matter what needs doing, putting on a skirt or dress is the first thing he must do as soon as he enters the home. I can't let this rule slacken.

He puts on a pretty flowery summer mini skirt I bought for him a couple of weeks ago. I did my usual thing of holding it up to him in the shop to see what it looked like. Again no one has ever said anything when I do this. I think it's because I'm giggling with delight when I do it and the other customers and shop staff think I'm just playing about. I'm not. The time is coming when he will have to actually try them on in the shop.

Since we're staying in tonight I expect him to put in the breast inserts inside his bra, put his wig on, wear shoes with heels and put on make up with eye shadow and lipstick. He also wears hold-up stockings as with a short summer skirt on as it can get a little chilly at the moment in the late afternoon/evenings. If not, I like to see his smooth long legs. He sometimes asks me why I like him to wear false breasts as he's not a real girl. I tell him I just do. It helps to make him look female and give him the feel of heaviness in that area which he would otherwise not have. It's all about the feel of him being a girl that helps him.

I had a little work to get on with so I went up to my study. While I did this he got on with some ironing then relaxed with the newspaper.

I joined him later and saw he was sitting on the sofa. He does push things at times. I explained that he's not permitted on the chairs after breakfast and that I'm disappointed. He knew he shouldn't but he often pushes the boundaries and plays innocent. It works if I'm distracted but I wasn't.

Although many of my rules have become second nature this one has refused to sink in for some reason. I use light spanking to enforce my rules if he breaks them. I tell him to go and get the wooden spoon. I tell him to lift his little skirt and bend over. As I don't allow him to wear panties anymore, his bottom is already bare. I spanked him five times on each buttock and when he complained it was too hard I did two more. He has to thank me for admonishing him and I believe this helps him to understand it's for his benefit, I'm making him a better person.

At My Feet

My husband sitting on the floor at my feet

I sit on the sofa and my husband continues reading, sitting on the floor on her feet. After a while, I ask him to remove my shoes to massage my feet. As dinner time approached, I told him to prepare dinner and he left me in the living room to go to the kitchen to peel potatoes, chop the veg and prepare some fish, which he knows I love.

Saturday Evening Dinner in a Wife-led Marriage

My husband prepares dinner in the kitchen, face obscured.

We always eat at the dining room table as I like to be quite formal. I will often dress smart so I change while my husband prepares dinner. We put on classical music.

He lays the table and serves the dinner to me with another curtsy. After dinner, he clears up while I finish a glass of wine and chat with him as he works around me. He clears away the plates, stacks the dishwasher and cleans up in the kitchen.

A wife-led marriage is not a game, it's real life.

Some people might think our wife-led marriage is strange. I have complete control and my submissive husband has to look and act like a pretty feminine housewife. It may also seem to be an easy life for me but I have all the responsibility. I am also aware that without constant vigilance, he would probably slip back into many bad old male ways as it's easier for him. That said he prefers to live a feminised FLR lifestyle, he loves it and he would never return to the old style of equality we used to have. Or masculinity he used to have. He's at peace.

It's easy, comfortable and loving as long as he follows my rules so it's worth the effort for us both. My rules are very simple as there are only really two and everything else flows from them.

  1. I am in charge and
  2. My husband has to be feminised

Alice prefers a comfortable quiet life without conflict and being feminised can be very pleasant for him. He likes to avoid my anger so wants to comply as best as possible. We do talk about my preference that he is feminised and how he feels about it, especially after I've increased some areas of his feminisation. He's comfortable with where he is at the moment. Obviously, I am still frustrated that he doesn't wear female clothing all the time.

He explains that the feel of a soft cotton skirt against smooth legs beats rough trousers on hairy legs any day. He understands and accepts that I want him to wear skirts and dresses all the time, not just at home. I know he's not quite ready for that and I will take an incremental approach to achieving that goal.

He enjoys being submissive in the relationship and this has made him so much more relaxed and happy. It works for me too.

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About the Creator

Alexa Martinez

Alexa is an author and blogger on Female-Led Relationships, Feminisation and Femdom using her pen name Lady Alexa. Her fetish novels can be found on most online bookstores such as Amazon, Smashwords, Apple Books and many more.

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Comments (3)

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  • Allen/Abby Lee Jones2 months ago

    Looks like it works for both of you. is Alice on an allowance like I am

  • J Bogos10 months ago

    i just love this, and would love such a marriage!

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