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A Beginner's Guide to Anal Sex

Tips and Tricks to Make Your First Time More Comfortable

Photo by Charles Deluvio 🇵🇭🇨🇦 on Unsplash

There is a lot of misguided information when it comes to anal sex these days. All over the internet, you hear that it is not safe, painful, and can cause health damages when you get older. While these statements are not technically false, they are misleading. What many people might not realize is that anal sex, if done correctly, can be even more pleasurable than other forms of penetration. An anus has several sensitive nerve endings that can hit that spot the same as vaginal penetration.

While I am in no way a professional when it comes to this topic, I have personally been through the first time exploration. Not reading any information beforehand, the experience ended painfully and was a bit traumatizing. After a few practices, I have found these tips to effectively help in the process so that you can spend less time worrying and more time enjoying the pleasure it can bring. No matter your sexual orientation or who your partner is, these tips will aid in your first time.

Lubrication is not optional.

I wish I had realized this the first time I tried any form of anal play. Unlike a vagina, your anus doesn't create natural lubrication to ease things in. To avoid the pain that some people warn you about, make sure to have lube on hand and use it throughout the process. Not only does this help penetration, but it can boost the sensations during intercourse.

Even if you are not ready for actual penetration, lube can be a great addition to foreplay. I would personally go for a water-based solution to avoid the gunk that some brands can give you. Massage it into the body, use it with toys, or any other sexual desire you have. Trust me; this is a tip you will be thankful for afterward.

Take things slow.

Similar to other penetration, you don't ever want to start roughly the first time around. Even if it is your 50th time, you want always to make sure you start slow. Are you scared of having fecal matter come out during anal? While this doesn't typically happen, it is more likely if you move in and out too fast from the start. Make sure to communicate with your partner to keep them comfortable and ease your way into the process. Sex should never be a race.

Taking things slow doesn't just stop and end with anal either. Before that first time, you should try practicing with other items beforehand to ease yourself into the sensations. To know what you like and don't like you might want to try self-exploration first. You can do this by yourself or with a partner by using different toys or fingers. Doing this will help you figure out what works best on your body and can show your partner what turns you on.

Keep it clean.

Many people think that anal sex is a dirty act. The fact of the matter is, your anus is a place for things to pass through, not a storage unit. However, there are certain things you need to remember when adding this to your sex routine. Especially for women, you want to make sure that anything used in the butt is not going anywhere else. Intermixing anything could cause urinary tract infections or other bacterias to develop in the vaginal region.

You also want to make sure you clean off any toys you use afterward, which you should get into the habit of no matter what you are doing. If you are a little nervous about the cleanliness down there, you can always take a quick shower beforehand. Also, just because you aren't expecting a child from anal does not mean you should not use protection. A condom not only could add a little more lubrication and ease, but it does help prevent STD's (something you can still get from anal).

If you need to, you can douche.

Speaking of cleaning, you can use an anal douche if you are worried about things getting messy. While I wouldn't recommend using this all the time, it can occasionally help you feel more confident about the process. I will say, the first time when you have anal, you are going to receive some pressure that feels as if you need to use the restroom. This feeling is entirely normal for everyone.

If, for some reason, you do feel like something is about to come out, talk with your partner to stop so you can assess the situation. The biggest tip I can give throughout the entire experience is to communicate properly. It would be best if you both were comfortable during the whole process; otherwise, there is no point in doing it.

Play around with toys.

Thinking of doing anal but don't know if it is for you? Experimentation is always a great way to test the waters. They have an array of toys out there to help you see what you like or to add a little more excitement in the bedroom. Use them alone or with a partner and try out a few different methods. I would lean towards metal or glass toys since they can be smoother than the other alternatives. Even if you find out that anal is not for you, toys can still bring fantastic sensations during other forms of penetration.

Another way to find what works best for you? Try out different positions during sex. Changing it up can help hit that orgasm in ways usual spots cannot. Again, this is not a race, so take your time to find what works best for you and your partner. By exploring with toys and movements, you can better learn what feels great for everyone involved.

Stimulate other areas simultaneously.

For some reason, we remember to move our hands around with other forms of penetration but forget when it comes to anal. While you might be a tad nervous, stimulating the clitoris or penis during this process can help boost pleasure. Just like any other form of sex, we usually need more than only penetration for that big moment.

A tip that I have found extremely useful is to start anal after you and your partner have already been having sex for a while. The closer you are to an orgasm, the more pleasure you will feel when it is switched up.

By communicating regularly and using the proper tools and tips, you can worry less about everything that could go wrong and enjoy the moment. After all, sex should be fun and exciting, not stressful. When we keep the window open for communication, we can start to have fun exploring each other's bodies and finding new ways to bring pleasure to our sexual partner. 

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