7 Things I Learned Working on a Phone Sex Line

The phone rings. It’s Susan, the receptionist. There is a man on the other line. She tells me his name and who he wants me to be. He’s asked for Alice.

I play Alice regularly. Clearing my throat before connecting the call, I quickly practice my girly voice. He wants me to call him “Daddy” and be submissive.

Working on a phone sex line isn’t as sexy as you might think it is. We tell our callers we are sitting around in our underwear and we are already so turned on. In reality, I was sat on my sofa in my pyjamas and I had just paused the latest episode of Criminal Minds. Sexy, eh?

If that didn’t turn you on, then maybe details of the pay might.

For every ten minute call I got paid £1.60. Sounds like a lot, doesn’t it? How about when you only get one ten minute call every hour. Does that get you all hot under the collar? Nope, I didn’t think so.

So why do it then? Truth be told, I was ill. I couldn’t work and working on the phone lines was flexible enough for me to manage and still paid enough for me to keep the lights on.

This isn’t a sob story and I’m not knocking the girls that work on these lines. It was certainly an eye opening experience for me and for most part it was fun.

What did I learn?

1. Not all men who called were perverts — Some men were just really lonely. Others claimed they hadn't had sex in such a long time that they just wanted the relief. Better still, some men said their wives and girlfriends are fully aware of their expensive habit.
2. Some men were definitely perverts. Sorry. And they weren’t your cuddly, fun, and kinky kind of pervert, either. There were times when I was seriously worried about certain callers.
3. Occasionally, I had to tap out. Now I can handle a lot. I’ve heard some strange things but some guys just gave me the creeps or they were too extreme in what they wanted. There was a man who wanted to hear me vomit — no, thank you!
4. Sometimes men just wanted to be in control. These men worked in high pressure jobs and didn’t feel in control anywhere else. They wanted someone to tie up and spank, to moan on command.
5. Men really think women can orgasm in two seconds flat. Literally. Some days I would fake so many orgasms my throat would be sore... and not in a good way. It’d be like “Orgasm for me” and they would just expect it. I feel kind of bad for letting them continue to believe that this actually happens in real life.
6. Occasionally, you’d come across a really weird kink. Do people really fantasise about giving injections?… Yep, they do!
7. Hearing men cum is strange. Sometimes they grunt. Sometimes they swear. It’s all pretty gross to be honest. Oh, and they hardly ever say thank you afterwards!

I think we are still tiptoeing around sex in our daily lives, too afraid and too embarrassed to talk about it. Maybe these services wouldn’t be used so often if we could all have honest conversations about what we want in the bedroom.

Food for thought: if you find one of these sex lines on your phone bill, why don’t you ask your man about why and what they wanted instead of getting mad? You might just find that it is a fantasy you can fulfill and he was just too afraid to ask if you’d be into it.

Sometimes some men do want the weird stuff, though. So if he is one of those and it isn’t affecting your bank balance too much, then maybe it’s the better of two evils.