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6 Reasons You're Not Having Sex

You’re not alone if you aren’t having sex very often. Today, women simply don’t have as much time for sex as women back in the 1950s. Around 40 million Americans say they have a sexless marriage (having sex fewer than 10 times a year).

This is a problem since having sex regularly is good for your health. It not only helps partners stay close, but can also satisfy all sorts of physical and emotional intimacy needs.

Most people say that their lack of sex is due to the lack of time, but there are many other possible reasons. Here are the six biggest sex busters and ways to beat them:

1. Medications are stealing your sex drive.

Many women take oral contraceptives to be able to have worry-free sex. The irony is that these magic pills can start killing your sex drive. That’s because OCs contain estrogen, resulting in increased production of a protein called sex-hormone binding globulin. This SHBG can sometimes confine testosterone which will lower your sex drive. Other meds that lower sex drive includes those that reduce anxiety, blood pressure, acid reflux, and antidepressants.

Advice: Talk to your doctor about the sexual side effects of any medications you’re taking. You should also consider using a birth control method that doesn’t use hormones like a diaphragm, condoms, or an IUD.

2. You live a busy life.

Many of you spend your days working out, cooking, working, and taking care of the family. It’s no surprise many of us don’t feel like having sex at 11 PM. Besides making you tired, the constant stresses of modern life can also cause hormonal changes that affect your body’s sexual response.

Advice: It will take some serious time management to increase the frequency of sex. Take time to relax, minimize the use of technology and possibly designate more date nights.

3. You’re not comfortable with your body.

Many women have a lower sex drive when they are overweight or have a different body shape from pregnancy. The media dictates the meaning of sexy and many of us think that we have to look a certain way to have good sex.

Advice: You will be surprised how often the things you don’t like about yourself are actually what others find attractive. Ask your partner what he loves about your body. The compliments he makes will help you feel positive. Shedding some pounds can also give a huge mental boost. Even a five-pound loss in weight can boost your sex drive.

4. You’re sick and tired.

Many women have low libido because of endocrine problems like thyroid disease. This condition causes depression, exhaustion, fertility problems, and low sexual desire. Women with chronic diseases like anemia, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, or diabetes may not be in the mood because of painful sex or fatigue.

Advice: Soon as you diagnose and treat a thyroid condition or anemia, the symptoms should go away.

5. You’ve hit perimenopause.

Your hormones change right before menopause, decreasing the production of estrogen. This makes you lose complete interest in sex. Your sensitive vaginal tissue gets less lubrication and this dryness can cause pain. Well, we all know that painful sex is no sex. The hot flashes you experience during this time don’t help either.

Advice: Speak to your doctor to see if hormone replacement therapy (HRT) will work for since it can help with the menopausal symptoms. More recent research shows that an estrogen cream could help lower the dryness with the risk associated with HRT. If you feel pain during intercourse, lubricants can also help.

6. You prefer the vibrator.

Many women like their vibrator better and it’s actually much more common than you may think. It’s more accessible and simpler than cooperating with men. Although there’s nothing wrong with using sex toys for sexual pleasure, preferring your vibrator over your partner can be a big problem.

Advice: If you’re addicted to your toy and your relationship is suffering because of this, talking to a therapist may help. If you simply get more satisfaction from the vibrator than from sex with your partner, talk to him about changing up your sexual routine and maybe incorporating the vibrator into it. 

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