50 Ways to Name Your Lover

Genre: Humor, Satire

Word Count: 2, 190 words

My Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

You know the funny and nauseating pet names couples give each other? What if you made up a dirty nickname for your partner. It's all fun and games until you accidentally call them that in front of your mother-in-law. This book contains 50 nicknames that sound perfectly innocent but can be hidden and dirty meanings. So even if you slip up, people will not think anything of it.

Creativity Served with a Side of Sexy

When I was browsing the erotica books at Smashwords, I was very surprised to see this one. At first I was going to pass it, but I kept looking at it because of the description. More specifically, this:

Rutabaga: Rammed Up The Ass By A Giant Appendage

I decided I had to look at it. It was definitely entertaining by far. And some of them were great. Like "Handsome" (code word for "I'm mad, so instead of a "two-some," you get a "handsome") and "Pearl" (perv).

Others were a bit of a stretch and took too many links to make sense. Like "The Venerable Bede," a reference to a great Anglo-Saxon Scholar (A.S.S.). A bit too much like playing 6 degrees to Kevin Bacon.

Others make sense, but they're too weird to go by unnoticed if you say it in public, like "Red Rover" (rhymes with "bend over) and "Sweet Sally" (she tastes sweet and salty). If you say these in public, you will get confused looks at best, and at worse, one of your relatives will ask about it, and you will be scrambling for a perfectly innocent reason why you call him Red Rover ("It's, uh, because of when he dyed his hair red. Right? You remember that, right?")

Others like "Buttercup" (butt), "Turnip" (she likes to turn and nip when taken from behind) and "Romeo" (roll me over) sound so nauseating that people will be gagging. So even though they're innocent sounding, they are probably not good to say in public unless you want to end up with no friends.

However, I can see some scenarios where "V.I.P." could work (Very Important Penis).

This is certainly an entertaining book, though, and definitely worth the read. It's a great book to look over with your partner and maybe even try out a few of the names in jest. For writers looking to find couples' pet names (maybe for the leading couple, or for the nauseating couple at the dinner table the protagonist rolls her eyes at) this book is a bounty. It will get a couple of snickers out of you at the very least, even if it is not very user-friendly for real.

You can get There Must Be 50 Ways To Name Your Lover for free on Smashwords. Polly Fly is also looking for suggestions for her next volume of secretly dirty nicknames, so if you like word play and hidden meanings, feel free to reach out to her to get your own nickname in a book.