"So, are you still having sex?" My best friend Charlotte and I were a couple of drinks in when she blurted this question out to me. Charlotte was shy and very prudish, not one to mention the 'S' word without blushing, at least not normally. I laughed at her, not embarrassed at all. I didn't have to think about it at all.
"Yes, we still have sex. Being married hasn't changed that bit." Maybe we weren't your average couple, but our sex had actually gotten hotter. How you ask? Well, for a start, we were very aware of the stereotype for married couples and we were determined not to fit into it.
So here are my ten top tips for hot sex in long term relationships.
1. Invest in new lingerie.
He has seen everything you already have in your underwear drawer, so surprise him with something new every now and again to keep things fresh and exciting. Extra points if you decide to go all out, do your hair, makeup, and shave those legs. It is way too easy to stop feeling sexy in relationships.
2. Test drive some sex toys.
Why the hell not! Go to your local store and pick something out together, I bet you will both be so excited to rush home to try it out. Don't be shy or embarrassed about buying sex toys. Trust me, the ladies that work in those stores have seen everything ten times over. Your sparkly dildo is hardly going to shock them.
3. Book yourself a hotel room every now and again.
It doesn't matter if you live together. Spice up your sex life by having a dirty weekend; there is no shame in it. It will give you an excuse to pay each other the attention you both deserve.
4. Go on dates.
Just because you have been together for a long time, it does not excuse laziness. Make the effort to go out. Trust me, it will be worth it.
5. Try some fun games in the bedroom.
Not really into Fifty Shades of Grey? You can get some great sexy dice games or sexy card games to freshen things up and keep it interesting.
6. Don't wait until his birthday.
Sex is all about giving and receiving. Do lots of giving and you will probably also be doing more receiving (if you know what I mean). Surprise him with a blow job every now and again, he might just find a way to thank you for it.
7. Role Play
You don't have to go all out and get costumes for the occasion. Though the extra effort may be well worth it in the end.
8. Bring food to bed.
And I'm not just talking about that leftover pizza... Chocolate sauce, whipped cream, they are all fun to play with in the bedroom. Though, if it were me, I would definitely consider doing this in a hotel room... someone else can clean up those messy sheets.
9. Watch porn together.
This only really works if porn turns you on just as much as it turns him on. If it makes you uncomfortable, then just give it a miss. Though it can be a good way to get the blood flowing.
10. Don't be afraid to have sex outside of the bedroom.
Sex can be fun in a lot of different places. I'm not suggesting you go out in public with it, but why not try different rooms of your house, go camping and so on and so forth. The boring part of sex during long term relationships can often be the monotony. Don't be afraid to shake it up.