To Be Your Lover

I do not want to be your friend anymore. It's been over a year of pretending I do not want you. It's been over a year of hearing you talk about girls and watching you get hurt. I am so tired of letting you rest your head on my shoulder, letting you pick me up and wrestle me, letting you tickle me and give me piggy back rides. I do not want you to tickle me and then continue talking or watching the movie. I want you to tickle me and then pin me down, smiling in that half-smirk way that you only use past eleven at night. I don't want you to put your arm around me and not pay attention to it, because for me every nerve that you touch gets electrified and my body tingles and yearns for your touch. I do not want to be your friend. I want to be your lover.

I want to kiss your lips, I've stopped trying to count the amount of times my eyes drift to them when we talk. I want to kiss them, I want to bite them, I want to taste you. I imagine your lips traveling over my body and exploring the places you wouldn't have dared to go before. I want to feel the small hairs on your chin that stick out. I want to trace the outline of your mouth and your jaw with my finger. I want to memorize your eyes from close up and I want to feel your breath on my cheek. I want to hold your face in my hands and know you trust me.

I want your hands on my body. They've been on my shoulder and my and my arm and my knee. I want your hands to be everywhere. I want them on my thigh, squeezing and feeling the soft skin that's there. I want them on the back of neck. I want them in my hair. I want them on the small of my back. I want them on my ass, holding me up against a wall, or just onto you. I want to be the one who gets to intertwine my fingers through yours as we walk down the street. I want your hands.

I want to tell you that I love you in an early morning text and I want you to send me a paragraph when I'm asleep. I want to go out with your family and I want you to brag about me. I want you to send me pictures of animals and memes. I want people to say we are their OTP. I want you to shut up and say thanks even though you think it's cheesy, but you like it anyways, because I like it.

I want you. I want you in every way. I want your mind, your soul, your body, although your body doesn't matter that much to me, at the end of the day. If I call you mine, I will be happy.