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Sex Positions for Lazy Couples

If you're horny but don't want to move, chances are you will need one of these sex positions for lazy couples.

By Bethany TiamatPublished 7 years ago 4 min read
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You guys are probably just tuckered out after a long day. Or, perhaps, you had a heavy meal, and don't feel like doing anything too crazy. Or any number of other things that can hold you back from getting creative in bed. Sometimes, you just don't feel like being a bedroom acrobat - and it's okay.

Look, time for some real facts: if you're lazy, you probably weren't going to try out all the sex poses from the karma sutra anyway. So why not try these sex positions for lazy couples?

Downward Dog

You hit the ground, face first in a pillow, and you ain't getting up. But you're horny. But you don't want to get up.

Problem?

Simply draw that pillow to your lower regions to push up your butt, lay flat on your belly, and let your partner go in from the rear. You don't have to get up, but you get your sex. See? Is there any problem with any of this? Nope! You get all the sex now. All of it. Without getting off your lazy tummy. You nerd.

If you ask us, this is one of the best sex positions for lazy couples. It just rules.

Spooning

Cuddling on the sofa, watching a movie, and want to transition to sex? Are you feeling that round rear press against your crotch, and just can't stand another second without needing that ass?

Then spoon!

All you have to do is draw down the pants and panties down, and get to work. You don't even have to turn off the TV. Just let that monitor glow over you as you, your hands clasped around your partner's middle, grind gently in and out of – oh, which hole even is it? Do you care? If one of you cares, then oblige your partner, but, either way, just go for it.

Curled Spoon

Ready to change positions, but you're cozy where you are? Maybe a regular spoon is a little uncomfortable for you in your current location, but fuck moving! You're warm under your blanket, and the outside world is cold.

Ergo, the Curled Spoon. Simply draw your legs against your chest, opening yourself up for your partner to thrust into you. Fetal position you will be a ball of muscle and bone, while your partner just does all the work. Lazy time for you.

Right Angle Sex

Sometimes, you want to just lay down, and look up at your sexy partner thrusting at you. Lay back down on a flat surface – your bed, your counter, your table, a pile of empties out pizza boxes, whatever. You part your legs, and let our standing partner just go right in.

Bonuses to this include you laying down, you looking up at your cute partner doing all the hard work, and, if you're laying on a bunch of unstable pizza boxes, the scent of pizza and the memory of a satisfying meal.

I was joking about the pizza boxes. Please don't actually do that. You're gonna fall, and it'll hurt like hell. Lazy people shouldn't have to arrange hospital trips due to sex mishaps, just because they enjoy sex positions for lazy couples and pizza at the same time.

Acute Angle Sex

Same as before (look, we're too lazy to develop all-new sex poses, so let's just agree to update what works), only this time you keep your knees nice and soft. Let your partner hold you around the calves as he or she plows into you.

Now, no strain at all. You get to be nice and comfy as your partner goes right in.

Sex on a Chair

Are you so lazy you won't even get off your chair to have sex? Seriously?

Well, okay, we can work with this.

Have your partner sit on your lap. If you have a penis, you're in luck! Your partner can mount you, and slide right into place. Like this plan? Good! You didn't even have to get up, and now your partner has to do all the work.

Sadly, this position isn't very useful if you lack a penis, so... I dunno, do oral instead?

Missionary

Simply put: a classic never dies.

There's no reason to think too hard about this. One of the best sex positions for lazy couples is also one of the simplest. Mount 'em, lay down, belly against belly, chest against chest, gazing into one another's eyes as you rock back and forth.

Simple, yes?

This sex position for lazy couples gets even better if you have a cozy blanket thrown over you two while you do it, you lazy dorks.

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About the Creator

Bethany Tiamat

I love three things: books with yellowed pages, long walks on beaches with my german shepard Dany, and dishes incorporating fried onions.

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