Don't Label Me

So, I consider myself bisexual, and a part of the LGBTQ+ community or the queer community, whichever you prefer. I am in a very committed relationship with a strong, masculine, straight male who loves me for who I am. But here’s the thing, others in the LGBTQ+ community want to label me as so much more. The majority of my conversations I have with my queer friends go like this,

“So, what ARE you?”

“I consider myself bisexual.”

“So, you are sexually attracted to males and females.”

“Not exactly, sex doesn’t matter to me and neither does gender. I don’t identify myself as more masculine or feminine. I don’t care if the person I love has a penis or a vagina or neither. I don’t care if the person I love wants to have sex or doesn’t. I don’t care how my partner identifies sexually or how they identify their gender. It doesn’t matter, people are people.”

Now, here is where it gets to the point where I get angry. The people trying to break down labels and stop segregation and want everyone treated equal are the ones putting people into boxes.

“Oh, ok so you are a cis-gender female who identifies as gender non-conforming, and you’re asexual, specifically gray-asexual.”

My response is always, "No.

"I identify as bisexual, I can love and be sexually attracted to males and females. End of story. You can identify as a trans-female, trans-male, cis-male or female or be gender non-conforming, but at the end of the day I DON’T CARE."

I accept and respect gender identity and sexual orientation identity. When I was in high-school I found myself having a crush on my best friend, she was smart and caring. I loved the way her eyes smiled back at mine, and her laugh. I was in love with her. But I had been in love with males as well, I had a seven-year crush on a guy in my fifth-grade class (but so did every girl). I wasn’t confused, I knew I was bisexual and I wasn’t scared to admit it, but I know that not everyone has it that easy. Many people are confused on what their feelings mean, and once they figure them out they are scared to admit it, scared to come out. But the feeling of having a name for your emotions and what is going on your brain lifts a weight off of your shoulders that you didn’t know was there. When you feel different, not like everyone else, may it be gender or sexual orientation, having a name for it and finding people who are the same as you who can help you or go on the journey with you is amazing. That’s what is so wonderful about the LGBTQ+ community, they want to help. They want you to feel like a person, a normal person who belongs and deserves the same thing as everyone else. But it’s gotten to a point where, dare I say, radical community members are taking it to a point of segregation, and labels and boxes.

Some members of the community don’t accept bisexuals, don’t support the trans community, don’t believe in gender identities or pansexuality. If that’s how they think, then why do we call ourselves a community?

If having a label makes you happy then you go ahead with your bad self and be the person you want to be. I support you and I love you for that, but please don’t group me, don’t label me. I don’t want a label. I am Emma, I love you for the person you are, I support you through your transition, or finding yourself through gender fluidity. I support Mike and Charlie and Anne and Beth, I support Lisa and Gerald and I support Margret by herself, I support polyamory, I support crazy cat ladies and strong independent people and loving couples who can’t live without each other. I support everyone if you treat the world population with respect. But please, don’t group me, don’t label me. Don’t support one member of our community and not the other.

Once you label a person, you segregate them, you make them different. Isn’t that what we are trying to disprove? Isn’t the community trying to show that people are people no matter who they have sex with, love, or don’t have sex with, no matter their gender identity may it be assigned at birth or discovered throughout life?

Just some food for thought.